Bring It!

Bring It!

Four weeks ago, I was still in my little flat on stilts, had just found this townhome I am living in now, my first husband had just passed away, had the bilateral sacroiliac injections, and the construction workers began to strip the siding off the balcony, requiring me to dismantle my beloved morning glories and balcony garden.

On a Thursday night that fateful week in October, we had tornado weather here in Oklahoma. When the sirens went off, at first I thought about taking shelter. But my son Adam was quite ill and said he wasn’t moving, and my yogi son was visiting that night, had helped pack some of my mountains of books for me.

I also had four cats with me and only one cat carrier, and could not fathom leaving them.

Soooo, instead of seeking shelter from the storm, I went out on the balcony and faced it head on.

Lo and behold, a tornado was headed straight towards us. I looked that tornado in the face (had just manifested all the money I needed to move in and also to pay my water bill), filled my heart with pure Christ light, and fearlessly shouted, “Bring it!” And it swerved east right at Highway 9, about 1/2 mile south of me. Straight shot.

The unfolding of many last minute miracles along with daily challenges and so much hard work, but all wrapped up in the long arms of Love despite appearances of said challenges, has been a journey of forgiveness and leaps forward in my own growth has occurred!

My wings are here at last, and I know I can sustain this magic, we all can.

It’s now over a year since I was in pain management, and despite the enormous physical challenge of moving out of what I now see was a sort of punishment apartment, (even though I did turn it into a sanctuary, and my balcony garden was beautiful), I have managed to pace myself most days, for when I don’t, this body temple certainly lets me know pretty quickly!

My message for this Tuesday full of Grace, is to know that even if there is only a tiny part of you still healthy and strong, you can heal yourself. There are many paths and many methods, but please don’t put all your faith in any one person (a doctor, for example), or healing method. If someone gives you a negative prognosis or prediction, don’t believe it. Look inside for the Truth.

For all the healing in all the world is right here and right now, in this breath and this heartbeat. When we relax into ourselves, let go of the trauma of the past and stop worrying about the future, we walk in Grace.

Like Jesus said, “My Peace I giveth to you.”

That Peace which passeth understanding. It is not the understanding of this world. For things are never as they seem, my friends, never truly as they seem.

This world of Maya, illusion, the shadowy parts of ourselves showing through intensely right now, bringing secrets to light, provides us ample opportunity to complete this deep, deep stage of our individual and collective journeys.

As Gerold Janpowlski says, “Love is letting go of fear.”

Just breathe. And give thanks.

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The Journey Inwards

The Journey Inwards

Every day brings new opportunities for fresh starts. No matter who you are or what your challenges may be, there is a reason for you to be here. You are a miracle. And it’s by noticing the every day miracles around you which increases the Love in the Universe. Love is letting go of fear, our greatest obstacle and from which the most challenging obstacles of darker emotions and feelings arise.

The journey inwards is not an easy one. Many saints have written about the dark night of the soul, or the battle with the dragon. Teachers can only take us to the doorway of the inner labyrinth, but finding the center of the maze and taming our own inner dragon is a solo journey. The quest which must be completed in order to properly use the Force, which we are each given.

Love your self unconditionally, celebrate your uniqueness in this great mosaic tapestry of life. When your journey gets tough and there are not like minded souls around you, seek comfort in Nature. Let Her warm arms comfort you with Her beauty, Her strength and resilience, Her oceans, streams and rivers, Her trees, plants and flowers, her living creatures great and small. See the sparkle in the eyes of the children, and soon you will see that same sparkle in your own eyes, and in the eyes of those around you.

Never let the Light go out in your eyes. Keep shining, my friends, keep shining.

No More Sides

No More Sides

Pick a card,
choose a side,
but don’t ever
look inside,
it’s so much better
to duck and hide
from each other.

Be afraid, be so afraid
of every difference
that you see,
look through the lens
only partially,
locally,
not globally.

Ahh but don’t you
see, that inside
we are always free,
and when we look inside
we see,
the true face of
humanity.

It’s not our differences
that matter,
but all the ways
we are the same,
one family we be,
part of Gaia’s giving tree,
we can be free.

Embracing Oneness as our path,
diversity delights us at last,
And hand in hand we stand up
collectively.

We stand up for each other,
for our planet, She is our mother,
And what we do to her,
we do to each other.

And what we do to one another,
we do to ourselves,
In La’kesh,
we are connected,
I am another you.
And I wish always
the best for you.

Deep breaths now,
the time has come to band together,
to hold our candles in the rain,
as the world has gone insane,
fighting wars,
so much pain,
but in the center there is calm,
And that calm is where we be,
powerfully connected,
And Love will set us free!

© Kamea Moonmaiden 10/2017

My Miracle Boy

My Miracle Boy


Twenty two years ago today, my labor finally truly began for the birth of my son Nicolas. He was over ten days post dates and I didn’t want an induction or another cesarean, which my daughter Alyssa, baby #4, was born by. A dear friend offered to help me stay at home as long as possible to prevent induction. I did a lot of research and lots of birthing affirmations, like “My body knows how to create a perfect, healthy baby and I will let it.” And, “My body knows how to give birth normally and I will let it.”

After bumpy road rides and some other recommended forms of self induction, my contractions finally began right about 2:00 p.m. that day. I called my friend and we began walking around the block. Alternating with sitting outside on the back patio, enjoying the weather which had become cooler finally as a thunderstorm was coming on in.

About 8:00 p.m. the storm got very close and a clap of thunder struck, breaking my waters. Now for me, every birth became longer and more difficult rather than more quickly and easier. Well, all my babies were big, ranging from 8-10 pounds.

We decided to get to the hospital at that time, for there was some meconium in the water. I labored all night long, walking up and down the halls as long as I could, and sneaking juice and crackers whenever the nurses weren’t in the room.

By about 7:00 o’clock in the morning, my doctor came to check me and decided to start IV fluids. A couple hours later they decided to start me on Pitocin. At that point I had been in so much pain for over 24 hours I asked for an epidural, even though I had hoped to have a completely natural birth.

So they did, and I dozed off for quite while. Woke to the urge to push and called the nurse, who checked me and probably figured it would take me hours to push since I had had an epidural. I pushed once and my baby’s head began to crown. So the nurse held his head back for ten minutes until the doctor arrived. Not my doctor, who had agreed to go with my birthing plan, but a doctor I had never meant before. I pushed twice and he was born, experiencing what is called a precipitous birth.

I told the doctor not to cut the life giving cord which would provide him with oxygen while he adjusted to living outside the womb, and he said in a thick Okie accent, “That’s not the way we do it with meconium.” And so he cut the cord and I swear if I had been able to move my legs I would have kicked his hands away. Then they handed my baby to an attendant, who deep suctioned him before giving him a chance to breathe. So during that process, he inhaled meconium and both his lungs burst. And they didn’t notice a thing was wrong with him while they washed him up and checked him out before giving him to me to nurse.

I tried to nurse but he couldn’t. He was breathing but would just back away and I could sense he was distressed, so I asked them to come check him out again. They took him back to the nursery and checked him out again for about twenty minutes and brought him back to me. By this point, he was already beginning to struggle to breathe, and there was no way he was going to be able to nurse. He was fighting for his life. So this time I called them and was adamant that he be checked out more thoroughly immediately, sensing this was a life threatening emergency.

They took him away and wouldn’t talk to me for hours. Every time I called, the only thing they would say was that he was very sick.

My daughter Nina drove the rest of the kids home and lit a candle and prayed, asking God for a sign that her new baby brother was going to be alright. Then she went in the back yard and a thousand birds flew by. And the day before he was born a Monarch butterfly landed on my belly and stayed there (as I sat resting on the patio behind my house in the warm sun) for about half an hour.

Those were both signs from the Heavenly realm. Signs that angels are watching over us, and especially immediately praying for intervention for a close loved one.

It wasn’t until about midnight that the doctor who saved Nick’s life came in and told us what was going on. They had to give him a chest tube twice and when that didn’t work, on a respirator. He also developed hospital acquired Group B strep septicemia, which they found out the next day. It not only got into his blood, it was in his respiratory and urinary systems. So they had him on all kinds of tubes and was strapped down because he kept yanking them out. My baby boy was a true fighter.

They told us not to touch him for it would make him excited but I insisted I must, knowing a mother’s touch can one of the most healing things for a newborn baby. They told me that was okay as long as I didn’t move my hand. So I held my hand on his little arm, or held it on his chest and looked into his hazel eyes and he looked back at me, and his eyes were clear and bright even though they had him sedated so as to not struggle so much and then another medicine to maintain his blood pressure. He told me without words not to worry, not to be afraid, that he would be okay.

His father was very supportive, as was my doctor, who arranged for me to be able to stay in the hospital for three whole days, due to the circumstances. So we stayed with Nick as much as possible, praying the whole time, and then would go to my room where I used a double Medela pump to provide colostrum for my baby. Then we would go to the chapel and weep and pray.

They told us to prepare ourselves for the worst. Fifty percent of babies who only had the Strep died, they said. And Nick was working on healing his lungs. They said the best case scenario would be that he would need to be on a respirator for at least a month.

So we prayed more, our families joining in. And at the end of his third day of life, his father’s sister and husband who is a pastor and their whole congregation were praying for Nick at the same time my mom and a spiritual group of friends were doing the same – one group in Indiana, my mom’s group in Los Angeles. Us in the middle. And right after we got back from the chapel, for we had been praying at that time too, not knowing about the timing of these serendipitous groups of people praying for our son, the nurse came running down to tell us Nicolas was breathing against the respirator, and she had already begun to turn it down. She was so joyous and we burst into tears and rushed to the nursery. His eyes had brightened even more, and we were told we could hold him the next day.

We had to go home that night, but by 5:00 a.m. I was asking if I could return to be with my baby.

The nurses loved us at that point and said yes. And there he was, respirator off, with a little hood for oxygen over him, NG tube pulled out too!

We were both able to hold him that day, and I was able to rock him and give him a bottle of my very own amazing colostrum. And the next day, I was able to finally nurse him. And my milk was already in, thanks to the powerful double Medela pump.

Next time the NICU doctor checked him, I told her we had prayed for a miracle, and she replied, “Well, it certainly worked! He is doing very well, a beautiful baby boy. He’s a fighter.” And she beamed at us.

He was transferred to the regular nursery the next day, but they kept him until he was 9 days old, a joyous day of returning home with our new baby finally. For we had pretty much lived up at the hospital with him until we could take him home.

And now he is an amazing, strong, loving, creative young man, about to turn 22 years old. Out of all of my six kids, only went through this one scary ordeal which turned into a miracle. And even though every baby is a miracle and I love all mine with all my heart, I will always call Nick Nixta Scheid my miracle boy.

Learning to Let Go

Learning to Let Go


To learn to let go
hardest lesson of all.
So stubborn,
so damn good,
but sorry,
sorry for trying
to do it all my way.

Perfection isn’t a realistic goal
to strive for.
Excellence is grand,
but to try to be perfect
may drive you mad.

“Trying is dying”
she said to me,
And I knew not
what she meant,
for I could not let go.

But now I have let go
And the Universe
rejoices at my return.

I’ve been locked
in the prison of perfectionism
for far too long,
while waiting for
my magic carpet ride
through the skies.

Now I cast off the
shackles of pain,
of insecurity,
fears of my imperfections,
and the world or madness.

Heart and mind open wide,
I finally got the chance
to be happy.

The times I was waiting for
are now.
The one I was waiting for is me.
All is well,
all is good.

Blessed be.

© Kamea Moonmaiden

Kaypacha’s Astrology For The Soul, August 16, 2017


I am finally back again – with my particular chart, Sun in Cancer with Leo cusp influence, Pisces Moon and Aries rising, just for starters, the current configurations of the stars have been creating all sorts of unexpected circumstances which have taken up quite a bit of time. And wow, that time has flown! Not to mention that the world has gone even more crazy, so let’s all remember to breathe and always keep our seatbelts fastened.

This week Kaypacha talks at us from a beautiful area in Italy, giving us beautiful advice for how to handle this transformative energy that we will be experiencing with this total solar eclipse. He said it had just been raining and might rain again any moment – and at that moment it was raining here in Oklahoma, which it has been doing every night lately. So nice.

The moon was in Gemini on Wednesday, giving lots of ideas to us all, lots of changes going on all around, then we moved on into Cancer Thursday and Friday, and boy did I have a rough time with those two days! Usually I am quite at home with the Moon in Cancer, but the Sun in Leo conjunct Mars with Venus in Cancer and the Moon in opposition to Pluto with Uranus in Aries, Saturn in Sagittarius, Mercury retrograde in Virgo, it has actually flattened me, but the mermaid energy has revived me today. Just need to be submerged in water for half an hour with candles and soft music and a couple of my favorite crystals.

My apologies for digressing so much, so excited about the eclipse tomorrow. Remember to use protection! And it will be at 1:05 p.m. in Oklahoma, there are links online which will show what time it will be wherever you are, if you didn’t already check, which of course you most likely have.

When the Moon was in Cancer, she and Venus were both square Jupiter, and Sunday the North Node of the Moon will be conjunct the Sun for the next week or so. And the Moon is moving into Leo just in time for the New Moon and Total Solar Eclipse in Leo tomorrow. This will be a balsamic conjunction with Mars 1st at 28 degrees and 53 minutes of Leo trine Uranus in Aries. Saturn in Sagittarius will be conjunct Black Moon Lilith trine Sun on Tuesday.

(Kaypacha always gives much more information. I am merely doing typing up a summary for posterity sake and so I can look back over these in the future).

“I am thou, thee is me, thee is thou, thou is me. Like the Mayan saying, In La’kesh, a la’kin.”

There is madness within and around us. These are wild times. And the deal is that this isn’t just an eclipse, but Mars conjunct the Sun double intensifies it, along with the North Node of the Moon and the New Moon

The Sabian symbol for the total solar eclipse. Definitely the mermaid energy of Cancer definitely did bring us some rain. Here we have a mermaid emerging from the ocean, preparing to be reborn in human form. This goes back to Lemuria, before Atlantis, when our bodies were not so dense and physical, and there was more fluidity and more unity consciousness, recognizing the consciousness in the trees, and the rocks and the stars. This was before the patriarchy, we had a time of knowing who we were and how connected we are to the whole universe. Time to surrender to mermaid consciousness.

Also Black Moon Lilith is conjunct Saturn in Sagittarius, and apparently a whole article could be written about that aspect as well, for she is the shadow and conjunct Saturn in Sag it gives us the feeling of being ashamed of how much we know, the truth that is within us. Saturn wants to lock down and add dogma to every religion, but Black Moon Lilith is the wildish side of things, in touch with Nature. Her truth is ever expanding. We will be having intense feelings, complex relationship issues and experiences, The intensity isn’t over yet.

Newtonian physics is true. We are being transformed by a powerful divine feminine energy. We are changing. Sagittarius is mutable, changeable. Uranus in Aries (retrograde) has to do with new futuristic ideas, independence, freedom, we are hitting our limits and need to come to some agreements about living together in a sustainable way.

(and the day before watching this, I read an article about mermaids focusing on some of the same points – cosmic synchronicity).

And now we are having a time of remembering. Remembering who we were and reclaiming our power.

The sabian symbol for Uranus in Aries is the music of the sphere,

Pluto is going into Aquarius in October and it hasn’t been there for 230 years, and Aquarius is the 11th sign, the sign of the scientist, the genius, the computer geek, the extraterrestrial. And the Moon grabs that Aquarian energy during the lunar eclipse (full moon in Aquarius August 7, penumbral eclipse), and has been bringing up old emotional garbage and she’s going to block the sun. We have been coming and going. It’s like – what the bleep? LOL.

Our selfish habits, stuck patterns, emotional insecurities, wanting to hold onto somebody, and this moment when the moon covers the sun, it’s time to rid ourselves of old ways of seeking security as taught in childhood and past lives and really come into a new way of being expressive.

Mars is a big player right now, and has a moon called Phobos – same word root as phobia – meaning fear. Mars is the warrior, being conjunct the sun during eclipse has us needing to face our fears and also be ready to fly by the seats of our pants.

Leo is like a flower. It’s like going from bud to flower, then it becomes fruit, then it dies when Scorpio comes around.

We may push people away because we need a lot of space during this flowering process. But then we must remember were are a beam of Light. There is a trail of ascended masters behind us, offering us support and encouragement. We just need to fill out the paper work and go to the new country – (the new world of 5D consciousness).

Kaypacha says all this and so much more. And I am finally doing better. Yoga and physical therapy are helping. Lots of change. My youngest son just left for college last week. So proud of him for winning a football scholarship.

This week’s mantra: When I really look at it, all of life is a chance, and I refuse to face my fear, I will never learn to dance. Action in the face of fear.
May you take a chance and learn to dance.

Namaste. Aloha. So. Much. Love.

Rainbow Blessings. A’ho Mitakuye Oyasin.