Bring It!

Bring It!

Four weeks ago, I was still in my little flat on stilts, had just found this townhome I am living in now, my first husband had just passed away, had the bilateral sacroiliac injections, and the construction workers began to strip the siding off the balcony, requiring me to dismantle my beloved morning glories and balcony garden.

On a Thursday night that fateful week in October, we had tornado weather here in Oklahoma. When the sirens went off, at first I thought about taking shelter. But my son Adam was quite ill and said he wasn’t moving, and my yogi son was visiting that night, had helped pack some of my mountains of books for me.

I also had four cats with me and only one cat carrier, and could not fathom leaving them.

Soooo, instead of seeking shelter from the storm, I went out on the balcony and faced it head on.

Lo and behold, a tornado was headed straight towards us. I looked that tornado in the face (had just manifested all the money I needed to move in and also to pay my water bill), filled my heart with pure Christ light, and fearlessly shouted, “Bring it!” And it swerved east right at Highway 9, about 1/2 mile south of me. Straight shot.

The unfolding of many last minute miracles along with daily challenges and so much hard work, but all wrapped up in the long arms of Love despite appearances of said challenges, has been a journey of forgiveness and leaps forward in my own growth has occurred!

My wings are here at last, and I know I can sustain this magic, we all can.

It’s now over a year since I was in pain management, and despite the enormous physical challenge of moving out of what I now see was a sort of punishment apartment, (even though I did turn it into a sanctuary, and my balcony garden was beautiful), I have managed to pace myself most days, for when I don’t, this body temple certainly lets me know pretty quickly!

My message for this Tuesday full of Grace, is to know that even if there is only a tiny part of you still healthy and strong, you can heal yourself. There are many paths and many methods, but please don’t put all your faith in any one person (a doctor, for example), or healing method. If someone gives you a negative prognosis or prediction, don’t believe it. Look inside for the Truth.

For all the healing in all the world is right here and right now, in this breath and this heartbeat. When we relax into ourselves, let go of the trauma of the past and stop worrying about the future, we walk in Grace.

Like Jesus said, “My Peace I giveth to you.”

That Peace which passeth understanding. It is not the understanding of this world. For things are never as they seem, my friends, never truly as they seem.

This world of Maya, illusion, the shadowy parts of ourselves showing through intensely right now, bringing secrets to light, provides us ample opportunity to complete this deep, deep stage of our individual and collective journeys.

As Gerold Janpowlski says, “Love is letting go of fear.”

Just breathe. And give thanks.

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The Journey Inwards

The Journey Inwards

Every day brings new opportunities for fresh starts. No matter who you are or what your challenges may be, there is a reason for you to be here. You are a miracle. And it’s by noticing the every day miracles around you which increases the Love in the Universe. Love is letting go of fear, our greatest obstacle and from which the most challenging obstacles of darker emotions and feelings arise.

The journey inwards is not an easy one. Many saints have written about the dark night of the soul, or the battle with the dragon. Teachers can only take us to the doorway of the inner labyrinth, but finding the center of the maze and taming our own inner dragon is a solo journey. The quest which must be completed in order to properly use the Force, which we are each given.

Love your self unconditionally, celebrate your uniqueness in this great mosaic tapestry of life. When your journey gets tough and there are not like minded souls around you, seek comfort in Nature. Let Her warm arms comfort you with Her beauty, Her strength and resilience, Her oceans, streams and rivers, Her trees, plants and flowers, her living creatures great and small. See the sparkle in the eyes of the children, and soon you will see that same sparkle in your own eyes, and in the eyes of those around you.

Never let the Light go out in your eyes. Keep shining, my friends, keep shining.

No More Sides

No More Sides

Pick a card,
choose a side,
but don’t ever
look inside,
it’s so much better
to duck and hide
from each other.

Be afraid, be so afraid
of every difference
that you see,
look through the lens
only partially,
locally,
not globally.

Ahh but don’t you
see, that inside
we are always free,
and when we look inside
we see,
the true face of
humanity.

It’s not our differences
that matter,
but all the ways
we are the same,
one family we be,
part of Gaia’s giving tree,
we can be free.

Embracing Oneness as our path,
diversity delights us at last,
And hand in hand we stand up
collectively.

We stand up for each other,
for our planet, She is our mother,
And what we do to her,
we do to each other.

And what we do to one another,
we do to ourselves,
In La’kesh,
we are connected,
I am another you.
And I wish always
the best for you.

Deep breaths now,
the time has come to band together,
to hold our candles in the rain,
as the world has gone insane,
fighting wars,
so much pain,
but in the center there is calm,
And that calm is where we be,
powerfully connected,
And Love will set us free!

© Kamea Moonmaiden 10/2017

My Miracle Boy

My Miracle Boy


Twenty two years ago today, my labor finally truly began for the birth of my son Nicolas. He was over ten days post dates and I didn’t want an induction or another cesarean, which my daughter Alyssa, baby #4, was born by. A dear friend offered to help me stay at home as long as possible to prevent induction. I did a lot of research and lots of birthing affirmations, like “My body knows how to create a perfect, healthy baby and I will let it.” And, “My body knows how to give birth normally and I will let it.”

After bumpy road rides and some other recommended forms of self induction, my contractions finally began right about 2:00 p.m. that day. I called my friend and we began walking around the block. Alternating with sitting outside on the back patio, enjoying the weather which had become cooler finally as a thunderstorm was coming on in.

About 8:00 p.m. the storm got very close and a clap of thunder struck, breaking my waters. Now for me, every birth became longer and more difficult rather than more quickly and easier. Well, all my babies were big, ranging from 8-10 pounds.

We decided to get to the hospital at that time, for there was some meconium in the water. I labored all night long, walking up and down the halls as long as I could, and sneaking juice and crackers whenever the nurses weren’t in the room.

By about 7:00 o’clock in the morning, my doctor came to check me and decided to start IV fluids. A couple hours later they decided to start me on Pitocin. At that point I had been in so much pain for over 24 hours I asked for an epidural, even though I had hoped to have a completely natural birth.

So they did, and I dozed off for quite while. Woke to the urge to push and called the nurse, who checked me and probably figured it would take me hours to push since I had had an epidural. I pushed once and my baby’s head began to crown. So the nurse held his head back for ten minutes until the doctor arrived. Not my doctor, who had agreed to go with my birthing plan, but a doctor I had never meant before. I pushed twice and he was born, experiencing what is called a precipitous birth.

I told the doctor not to cut the life giving cord which would provide him with oxygen while he adjusted to living outside the womb, and he said in a thick Okie accent, “That’s not the way we do it with meconium.” And so he cut the cord and I swear if I had been able to move my legs I would have kicked his hands away. Then they handed my baby to an attendant, who deep suctioned him before giving him a chance to breathe. So during that process, he inhaled meconium and both his lungs burst. And they didn’t notice a thing was wrong with him while they washed him up and checked him out before giving him to me to nurse.

I tried to nurse but he couldn’t. He was breathing but would just back away and I could sense he was distressed, so I asked them to come check him out again. They took him back to the nursery and checked him out again for about twenty minutes and brought him back to me. By this point, he was already beginning to struggle to breathe, and there was no way he was going to be able to nurse. He was fighting for his life. So this time I called them and was adamant that he be checked out more thoroughly immediately, sensing this was a life threatening emergency.

They took him away and wouldn’t talk to me for hours. Every time I called, the only thing they would say was that he was very sick.

My daughter Nina drove the rest of the kids home and lit a candle and prayed, asking God for a sign that her new baby brother was going to be alright. Then she went in the back yard and a thousand birds flew by. And the day before he was born a Monarch butterfly landed on my belly and stayed there (as I sat resting on the patio behind my house in the warm sun) for about half an hour.

Those were both signs from the Heavenly realm. Signs that angels are watching over us, and especially immediately praying for intervention for a close loved one.

It wasn’t until about midnight that the doctor who saved Nick’s life came in and told us what was going on. They had to give him a chest tube twice and when that didn’t work, on a respirator. He also developed hospital acquired Group B strep septicemia, which they found out the next day. It not only got into his blood, it was in his respiratory and urinary systems. So they had him on all kinds of tubes and was strapped down because he kept yanking them out. My baby boy was a true fighter.

They told us not to touch him for it would make him excited but I insisted I must, knowing a mother’s touch can one of the most healing things for a newborn baby. They told me that was okay as long as I didn’t move my hand. So I held my hand on his little arm, or held it on his chest and looked into his hazel eyes and he looked back at me, and his eyes were clear and bright even though they had him sedated so as to not struggle so much and then another medicine to maintain his blood pressure. He told me without words not to worry, not to be afraid, that he would be okay.

His father was very supportive, as was my doctor, who arranged for me to be able to stay in the hospital for three whole days, due to the circumstances. So we stayed with Nick as much as possible, praying the whole time, and then would go to my room where I used a double Medela pump to provide colostrum for my baby. Then we would go to the chapel and weep and pray.

They told us to prepare ourselves for the worst. Fifty percent of babies who only had the Strep died, they said. And Nick was working on healing his lungs. They said the best case scenario would be that he would need to be on a respirator for at least a month.

So we prayed more, our families joining in. And at the end of his third day of life, his father’s sister and husband who is a pastor and their whole congregation were praying for Nick at the same time my mom and a spiritual group of friends were doing the same – one group in Indiana, my mom’s group in Los Angeles. Us in the middle. And right after we got back from the chapel, for we had been praying at that time too, not knowing about the timing of these serendipitous groups of people praying for our son, the nurse came running down to tell us Nicolas was breathing against the respirator, and she had already begun to turn it down. She was so joyous and we burst into tears and rushed to the nursery. His eyes had brightened even more, and we were told we could hold him the next day.

We had to go home that night, but by 5:00 a.m. I was asking if I could return to be with my baby.

The nurses loved us at that point and said yes. And there he was, respirator off, with a little hood for oxygen over him, NG tube pulled out too!

We were both able to hold him that day, and I was able to rock him and give him a bottle of my very own amazing colostrum. And the next day, I was able to finally nurse him. And my milk was already in, thanks to the powerful double Medela pump.

Next time the NICU doctor checked him, I told her we had prayed for a miracle, and she replied, “Well, it certainly worked! He is doing very well, a beautiful baby boy. He’s a fighter.” And she beamed at us.

He was transferred to the regular nursery the next day, but they kept him until he was 9 days old, a joyous day of returning home with our new baby finally. For we had pretty much lived up at the hospital with him until we could take him home.

And now he is an amazing, strong, loving, creative young man, about to turn 22 years old. Out of all of my six kids, only went through this one scary ordeal which turned into a miracle. And even though every baby is a miracle and I love all mine with all my heart, I will always call Nick Nixta Scheid my miracle boy.

Dancing With Trickster

Dancing With Trickster

Trickster always comes laughing.

He sees me stumble, sees me lose it
sometimes completely lose my sense of reason,
He sees me freak out and cry out in pain,
and he comes laughing.

He shows me how to learn
from those stumbling times,
how to laugh even when I am afraid,
how to be a bad ass spiritual warrior,
how to learn to not be wounded anymore,
how to sit still and listen
to this body,
this body talks
and can transform
bit by bit
and by leaps and bounds –

you choose the style
and together we can dance
and laugh with Trickster,
for He is here to help us learn.

He leads us to the dance
of the Rainbow Dream Warriors.

© Kamea Moonmaiden

Paradoxes

Paradoxes

To be here
and not here,
parallel universes
obvious and apparent,
for things have
gotten strange.

Yet we are still here,
and despite the strangeness
and obvious brutality
of the dying patriarchal paradigm,
we are birthing ourselves
into a new world,
for we are the children of the sun,
And no task is too mighty
for us to accomplish United.

This is why they seek to divide us,
by shade of skin,
the ways we pray,
the ways we vote,
how much money we make,
how able bodied we are,
our choice of gender and sexual identity.

So we rise up everywhere
for our freedoms,
which are naturally inherent,
as are our rights
to clean air, clean water,
unadulterated food.
And the right to not be
brutalized because of skin color
or religion,
or living in a country
filled with oil,
we rise up and demand peace!

They will try to keep us distracted
by scandal after scandal,
all while attacking the planet and
her people with a whole new
flavor of ferocity,
for they are so afraid of the
progress we have made,
they would have it all undone,
for the sake of white supremacy
the hierarchical man
with the plan
of destruction.

We are at war
yet we are also at peace,
people everywhere choosing
this path, praying, meditating,
finding we are so much
more than we ever dreamed,
and United we can make a change,
we can save this world,
but first we have to learn
to live with each other.

This is the golden key which
opens the door to the New Age.
The journey is still long and hard,
yet we are closer than ever before.
So keep shining, hold onto
and Love one another,
for it is Love that sets us free.
So things are crazy and miraculous
at the same time.
The old world is dying,
the new is being born.
Mad folk run war machines,
while magic folk embrace
shamanism, serenity, transformation.

We rise up together for every cause.
People marching in the streets,
people bringing peace,
choosing peace,
people brave enough
to bring new life
into this topsy turvy world,
we are the children of the sun.
We are the Golden ones.

Namaste.

© Kamea Moonmaiden

Stepping Past The Equinox

Stepping Past The Equinox


We are stepping past the Equinox
basking in the Void,
looking back at the Eclipse –
we are open.

The world

heaves and shifts

yet again –

people are screaming
in the streets.
Revolution here

everywhere,
let it move with Love.

Let the Water Protectors
lead the way,
lead the way
into a Brand New Day.

A Brand New Golden Dawn

Peace at last ~

Love will reign supreme,

for we are Golden.

We are water.

Water is Life and Life is Sacred.

Each of us is Sacred,

none more than any other,

we are Family.

One human Family,

I am you and you are me,

hearts filled with Love

are forever free,

we are Gaia’s children.

We are stepping past the Equinox

Looking back at the Eclipse.

We are open.

 

© Kamea Moonmaiden