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Loving Our Shadows

Loving Our Shadows

The past few months have certainly been quite intense! Been missing y’all and am finally in a space where I can create. This space is both in my surroundings and in myself. It’s taken a good while to get my bearings after moving in, while juggling duties of family life (not quite empty nest, but very, very soon), self healing, giving massages and studying healing modalities like trigger point therapy, acupressure, Thai yoga bodywork, aromatherapy, meditation, crystals and herbs.

Being broken so long ago and limping through life at times and other times running marathons and 100 yard dashes has given me such an intimate relationship with Coyote. The Trickster often guides the way, the way of the fool who happily steps off the precipice into the void. Luckily, my angels always surround me and protect me regardless of what I am going through. And this body gets stronger. Hatha yoga and postural mindfulness and strengthening exercises help a lot, as do my crystal healing baths.

Jupiter in Scorpio til November and the recent several weeks of Mars also in Scorpio brought ample opportunity for shadow work, and it is not all pleasant. But if we deny our shadows, they loom larger and more ominous, and if we turn away from our own shadows in fear we create blocks which require Love to dissolve. That’s what surrendering is all about.

Through the cold month of January and my second anniversary at WordPress, I have had to cocoon myself yet again, for sometimes my wings get torn due to the Trickster laughing in and out of my life. And of course we will call experiences to us until we get the lesson.

I know this and am working on releasing old patterns which no longer serve me, and yet find more work to do yet again.

Being in the eclipse corridor, a sense of timelessness accompanies the thick, juicy energies accompanying our literal transformation as the photon belt has arrived and we are also leaving the cosmic debris of an area in space where a galaxy died, and we have been traveling through this dust and darkness for thousands of years.

But now, as predicted in holy books and prophecies around the world, we come to the end of the Kali Yuga age, the end of the Age of Pisces, and the beginning of the Age of Aquarius.

These are the times of the Rainbow Warriors. Each of us with open hearts are part of the Rainbow Bridge connecting Heaven and Earth.

The time is now, and several more months to explore our shadows.

Also, Uranus is in fiery Aries still, and will be moving into Taurus, which is ruled by Venus, in May, and this is important because Uranus is the planet of electricity and change.

May your Monday be blessed wherever you are on this planet. And remember we are all connected.

A’ho Mitakuye Oyasin. Blessed be. Om Shanti.

The Hall of New Beginnings

The Hall of New Beginnings

Floating between
lifetimes
in the hall of
New Beginnings

this world between worlds

where infinite possibilities

stretch out
across
the imaginary
boundaries
of Time.

This is No-Time
and No-Space,
this Longer Now,
this No-Thing-Ness

place where I am free,

I am loved and loving,
this cloak of pain and scars
softly fading,
my rainbow cloak
brightly glowing,
for I herald from the stars.

Planted in this world of Light
and Shadow to help new beginnings grow.

My children are my garden,
they are the quivering arrows
of life shot from my bow.
They are grown into saplings now,
their roots digging deeper into this earth,
their branches spreading far and wide,
they too are planting gardens,
they too are in this Hall of New Beginnings.
They too herald from the stars.

Healing now,
loving ourselves,
loving each other
Unconditionally,
loving this world and
all her inhabitants
Unconditionally,
we are breathing
and loving the New Earth
into being.

Om Shanti.

Blessed be.

A’ho Mitakuye Oyasin.

© Kamea Moonmaiden

Bring It!

Bring It!

Four weeks ago, I was still in my little flat on stilts, had just found this townhome I am living in now, my first husband had just passed away, had the bilateral sacroiliac injections, and the construction workers began to strip the siding off the balcony, requiring me to dismantle my beloved morning glories and balcony garden.

On a Thursday night that fateful week in October, we had tornado weather here in Oklahoma. When the sirens went off, at first I thought about taking shelter. But my son Adam was quite ill and said he wasn’t moving, and my yogi son was visiting that night, had helped pack some of my mountains of books for me.

I also had four cats with me and only one cat carrier, and could not fathom leaving them.

Soooo, instead of seeking shelter from the storm, I went out on the balcony and faced it head on.

Lo and behold, a tornado was headed straight towards us. I looked that tornado in the face (had just manifested all the money I needed to move in and also to pay my water bill), filled my heart with pure Christ light, and fearlessly shouted, “Bring it!” And it swerved east right at Highway 9, about 1/2 mile south of me. Straight shot.

The unfolding of many last minute miracles along with daily challenges and so much hard work, but all wrapped up in the long arms of Love despite appearances of said challenges, has been a journey of forgiveness and leaps forward in my own growth has occurred!

My wings are here at last, and I know I can sustain this magic, we all can.

It’s now over a year since I was in pain management, and despite the enormous physical challenge of moving out of what I now see was a sort of punishment apartment, (even though I did turn it into a sanctuary, and my balcony garden was beautiful), I have managed to pace myself most days, for when I don’t, this body temple certainly lets me know pretty quickly!

My message for this Tuesday full of Grace, is to know that even if there is only a tiny part of you still healthy and strong, you can heal yourself. There are many paths and many methods, but please don’t put all your faith in any one person (a doctor, for example), or healing method. If someone gives you a negative prognosis or prediction, don’t believe it. Look inside for the Truth.

For all the healing in all the world is right here and right now, in this breath and this heartbeat. When we relax into ourselves, let go of the trauma of the past and stop worrying about the future, we walk in Grace.

Like Jesus said, “My Peace I giveth to you.”

That Peace which passeth understanding. It is not the understanding of this world. For things are never as they seem, my friends, never truly as they seem.

This world of Maya, illusion, the shadowy parts of ourselves showing through intensely right now, bringing secrets to light, provides us ample opportunity to complete this deep, deep stage of our individual and collective journeys.

As Gerold Janpowlski says, “Love is letting go of fear.”

Just breathe. And give thanks.

The Journey Inwards

The Journey Inwards

Every day brings new opportunities for fresh starts. No matter who you are or what your challenges may be, there is a reason for you to be here. You are a miracle. And it’s by noticing the every day miracles around you which increases the Love in the Universe. Love is letting go of fear, our greatest obstacle and from which the most challenging obstacles of darker emotions and feelings arise.

The journey inwards is not an easy one. Many saints have written about the dark night of the soul, or the battle with the dragon. Teachers can only take us to the doorway of the inner labyrinth, but finding the center of the maze and taming our own inner dragon is a solo journey. The quest which must be completed in order to properly use the Force, which we are each given.

Love your self unconditionally, celebrate your uniqueness in this great mosaic tapestry of life. When your journey gets tough and there are not like minded souls around you, seek comfort in Nature. Let Her warm arms comfort you with Her beauty, Her strength and resilience, Her oceans, streams and rivers, Her trees, plants and flowers, her living creatures great and small. See the sparkle in the eyes of the children, and soon you will see that same sparkle in your own eyes, and in the eyes of those around you.

Never let the Light go out in your eyes. Keep shining, my friends, keep shining.

Kaypacha’s Weekly Pele Report, September 27, 2017

Kaypacha’s Weekly Pele Report, September 27, 2017

Well, Kaypacha is still at Maccu Pichu, Peru, treating us to the sight of The Temple of the Sacred Valley, the prototype of the time before Maccu Pichu, right at the gate of the ancient Incan trail.

This week we have Jupiter opposite Uranus (first pass was last December 27, Jupiter went retrograde and came direct March 3, and now the third pass was Wednesday). A very powerful day which has a lot to do with this whole year. We are entering a two week conjunction of Venus and Mars, they are both in Virgo. They are both opposing Neptune, Mars last week, and Venus this week. On Wednesday the Moon was exactly conjunct Saturn, then She joined Black Moon Lilith, then She entered Capricorn, and today she is in Aquarius.

He says he is a little bit out of it, been staying up late and waking up early, soaking up the energy of the sacred site he is blessed to be at. There is so much going on all around the planet, the events this year proving that the name he gave for this year, The Year of the End of Illusion, was no accident.

So as we come to the third pass of Jupiter opposite Uranus, here is also Venus opposite Neptune (along with Mars and Mercury right now). There’s either your personal unconsciousness setting you up, or Divine consciousness setting you up, but it’s all a big set up for your evolutionary growth. Venus opposite Neptune is also the end of illusion, for Neptune in Pisces has fantasies and illusions and no boundaries and no time and no limits unless it’s all good and let’s merge with everybody, blah, blah, blah, blah, but here comes Venus in Virgo, which is all about partnership, relationship, projection, shadow, learning and knowing yourself within and through the other, and this is what 2017 has been about.

The End of Illusion is brought about by Jupiter opposite Uranus, Jupiter in the sign of Libra shows us through partnerships that our partners are other people, our intimate close to others show us our illusions, show us to ourselves, and this creates the Uranus in Aries, which is revelation, enlightenment, it’s like, “Oh wow, that’s me, that’s my Aries, that’s my masculine energy, that’s my sexual nature” and so we are all getting revealed to ourselves through our partnerships. And, if you want to remain in illusion you could be avoiding relationships.

Apparently the internet at the Ashram is very slow, he says he didn’t know how long it was going to take to upload it, and he did manage to get it onto YouTube early yesterday morning.

This opopsition is going for quite a while, at least until October 10, when Jupiter enters Scorpio, and it’s in full effect because it’s a build up of everything that’s been going on all of 2017. The thing of polarity is that you can experience one or the other of the emerging aspects – Jupiter in Libra says yes, I will expand and learn and grow through partnerships, business, intimate, romantic, sexual, however. And Uranus in Aries is when I go into myself, or do my yoga or onto a mountaintop, I need freedom, independence, which brings ultimately the opening of the third eye.

Jupiter and uranus both have to do with truth. Jupiter has more to do with philosophy, with this world, the expansion of consciousness, and Uranus has to do with enlightenment, will give you your truth from your subconscious, from your unconscious. If you look at shamanism, Jupiter and Saturn are in the middle world, while Uranus is in the celestial world, so it’s celestial truth, penetrating, impacting and sometimes exploding this middle world.

If you look at Greek mythology, Uranus is older than Saturn, Uranus is Saturn’s father, so before time. Uranus is outside of time, so this is where we are talking about extraterrestrial intelligence, wisdom and truth. And Saturn is the father of Jupiter, so we have three generations here, it’s kinda like descent, descent, descent. So when Uranus comes in, it blows your mind, there are sudden events – the truth has been here all along, but it brings the aha moment, a time of instability. The truth comes in and it changes the whole picture. it changes reality.

So it’s important to see what house Uranus is in, Uranus in the first house says you have to be yourself, you have to be spontaneous and instinctive and own your desires, and guess what, this will interrupt your relationships even though Jupiter wants to go there. Jupiter in the tenth house makes us want to expand our businesses, get out in the world, expand reputations, but Uranus in the fourth house says you have to look at your past, your childhood, your family, your inner inner personal child, your inner world. Then the home life will explode and Jupiter is going to lose.

Ideally, the oppositions resolve themselves by reaching that center point of balance, which is like a wormhole to another liberated state of enlightenment. Balance your oppositions and you will find the truth within.

Uranus/Jupiter, Aries to Libra – is about finding freedom within the relationship. So if the relationship is able to meet the needs for freedom, if both are able to be fed, if both are given equal time, we balance these oppositions. So it’s like 50% I need to be in relationship and 50% I need freedom.

The other thing is the masculine and the feminine. The masculine is emptiness, the void, clarity, simplicity. The yogic path is a masculine path, gonna sit and do my kundalini yoga and experience nothingness, stop all distractions. The feminine is about connection. I want to connect with the earth, the sky, the clouds, the rain, with me and you, and so it’s all about connection, connection, connection.

And so this balancing of the masculine and feminine is another place where this Uranus/Jupiter opposition comes into play. And this will be going on for a year, while Venus opposite Neptune is just for a week or two. Looking at that opposition, Neptune says I don’t want to know the truth, I want to avoid, I want to not talk about it, I want to run away. So we have this tendency now, whether it’s through drugs, alcohol, sex, or travelling – leaving the scene.

Venus in Virgo, the powerful feminine energy is meeting up with Mars, the masculine, in Virgo. Venus in Virgo wants facts, the truth, what’s real, don’t give me any lies or deceptions – Neptune can be the deceiver. So this also has to do with the end of illusion, particularly when it comes to love, heart and relationship. Time to get down to earth, get clear, get straight, and that leads to Uranus and revelation.

So this is the best of times and the worst of times. A time when you’re seeing the truth, like it or not, it’s upsetting your job or your relationships, but it’s the truth, so it’s not about illusions anymore, you’re not going to build sand castles in the air, because at least now you can get your shit together, see who you really are and who your partner really is, what your life is really about, and go from there. Because now Jupiter is moving into Scorpio, Saturn is moving into Capricorn, Chiron is moving into Aries, and Uranus is moving into Taurus. This whole next year is huge!

This week’s mantra: My vision of perfection
now has to include not just me, I and we
but all creation too!

Venus in Virgo, all creation was founded on love, the first Incan king who married out of love instead of out of fear.

Kaypacha and his group connected with the rocks, the stars, the sky and ate the plants of the land, and the Mother spoke to them and they can feel the matrix, not the world wide web, the real matrix of Mother Nature, the intergalactic, interplanetary matrix, which is less temporary. Less temporary than the material where we worry about our bank accounts – the trees have been here longer than us. The rocks have been here even longer. The stars are even older. When we tap into the fundamental, long lasting nature of creation. But if you get a chance to get to the top of the world like where Kaypacha is right now, channeling Divine energy for us all.

He says all this and a little bit more, check it out here, it’s quite a treat!

Namaste. Aloha. So. Much. Love.

Rainbow Blessings of Love and Light. Om Shanti.

My Miracle Boy

My Miracle Boy


Twenty two years ago today, my labor finally truly began for the birth of my son Nicolas. He was over ten days post dates and I didn’t want an induction or another cesarean, which my daughter Alyssa, baby #4, was born by. A dear friend offered to help me stay at home as long as possible to prevent induction. I did a lot of research and lots of birthing affirmations, like “My body knows how to create a perfect, healthy baby and I will let it.” And, “My body knows how to give birth normally and I will let it.”

After bumpy road rides and some other recommended forms of self induction, my contractions finally began right about 2:00 p.m. that day. I called my friend and we began walking around the block. Alternating with sitting outside on the back patio, enjoying the weather which had become cooler finally as a thunderstorm was coming on in.

About 8:00 p.m. the storm got very close and a clap of thunder struck, breaking my waters. Now for me, every birth became longer and more difficult rather than more quickly and easier. Well, all my babies were big, ranging from 8-10 pounds.

We decided to get to the hospital at that time, for there was some meconium in the water. I labored all night long, walking up and down the halls as long as I could, and sneaking juice and crackers whenever the nurses weren’t in the room.

By about 7:00 o’clock in the morning, my doctor came to check me and decided to start IV fluids. A couple hours later they decided to start me on Pitocin. At that point I had been in so much pain for over 24 hours I asked for an epidural, even though I had hoped to have a completely natural birth.

So they did, and I dozed off for quite while. Woke to the urge to push and called the nurse, who checked me and probably figured it would take me hours to push since I had had an epidural. I pushed once and my baby’s head began to crown. So the nurse held his head back for ten minutes until the doctor arrived. Not my doctor, who had agreed to go with my birthing plan, but a doctor I had never meant before. I pushed twice and he was born, experiencing what is called a precipitous birth.

I told the doctor not to cut the life giving cord which would provide him with oxygen while he adjusted to living outside the womb, and he said in a thick Okie accent, “That’s not the way we do it with meconium.” And so he cut the cord and I swear if I had been able to move my legs I would have kicked his hands away. Then they handed my baby to an attendant, who deep suctioned him before giving him a chance to breathe. So during that process, he inhaled meconium and both his lungs burst. And they didn’t notice a thing was wrong with him while they washed him up and checked him out before giving him to me to nurse.

I tried to nurse but he couldn’t. He was breathing but would just back away and I could sense he was distressed, so I asked them to come check him out again. They took him back to the nursery and checked him out again for about twenty minutes and brought him back to me. By this point, he was already beginning to struggle to breathe, and there was no way he was going to be able to nurse. He was fighting for his life. So this time I called them and was adamant that he be checked out more thoroughly immediately, sensing this was a life threatening emergency.

They took him away and wouldn’t talk to me for hours. Every time I called, the only thing they would say was that he was very sick.

My daughter Nina drove the rest of the kids home and lit a candle and prayed, asking God for a sign that her new baby brother was going to be alright. Then she went in the back yard and a thousand birds flew by. And the day before he was born a Monarch butterfly landed on my belly and stayed there (as I sat resting on the patio behind my house in the warm sun) for about half an hour.

Those were both signs from the Heavenly realm. Signs that angels are watching over us, and especially immediately praying for intervention for a close loved one.

It wasn’t until about midnight that the doctor who saved Nick’s life came in and told us what was going on. They had to give him a chest tube twice and when that didn’t work, on a respirator. He also developed hospital acquired Group B strep septicemia, which they found out the next day. It not only got into his blood, it was in his respiratory and urinary systems. So they had him on all kinds of tubes and was strapped down because he kept yanking them out. My baby boy was a true fighter.

They told us not to touch him for it would make him excited but I insisted I must, knowing a mother’s touch can one of the most healing things for a newborn baby. They told me that was okay as long as I didn’t move my hand. So I held my hand on his little arm, or held it on his chest and looked into his hazel eyes and he looked back at me, and his eyes were clear and bright even though they had him sedated so as to not struggle so much and then another medicine to maintain his blood pressure. He told me without words not to worry, not to be afraid, that he would be okay.

His father was very supportive, as was my doctor, who arranged for me to be able to stay in the hospital for three whole days, due to the circumstances. So we stayed with Nick as much as possible, praying the whole time, and then would go to my room where I used a double Medela pump to provide colostrum for my baby. Then we would go to the chapel and weep and pray.

They told us to prepare ourselves for the worst. Fifty percent of babies who only had the Strep died, they said. And Nick was working on healing his lungs. They said the best case scenario would be that he would need to be on a respirator for at least a month.

So we prayed more, our families joining in. And at the end of his third day of life, his father’s sister and husband who is a pastor and their whole congregation were praying for Nick at the same time my mom and a spiritual group of friends were doing the same – one group in Indiana, my mom’s group in Los Angeles. Us in the middle. And right after we got back from the chapel, for we had been praying at that time too, not knowing about the timing of these serendipitous groups of people praying for our son, the nurse came running down to tell us Nicolas was breathing against the respirator, and she had already begun to turn it down. She was so joyous and we burst into tears and rushed to the nursery. His eyes had brightened even more, and we were told we could hold him the next day.

We had to go home that night, but by 5:00 a.m. I was asking if I could return to be with my baby.

The nurses loved us at that point and said yes. And there he was, respirator off, with a little hood for oxygen over him, NG tube pulled out too!

We were both able to hold him that day, and I was able to rock him and give him a bottle of my very own amazing colostrum. And the next day, I was able to finally nurse him. And my milk was already in, thanks to the powerful double Medela pump.

Next time the NICU doctor checked him, I told her we had prayed for a miracle, and she replied, “Well, it certainly worked! He is doing very well, a beautiful baby boy. He’s a fighter.” And she beamed at us.

He was transferred to the regular nursery the next day, but they kept him until he was 9 days old, a joyous day of returning home with our new baby finally. For we had pretty much lived up at the hospital with him until we could take him home.

And now he is an amazing, strong, loving, creative young man, about to turn 22 years old. Out of all of my six kids, only went through this one scary ordeal which turned into a miracle. And even though every baby is a miracle and I love all mine with all my heart, I will always call Nick Nixta Scheid my miracle boy.