Double Rainbow Family

Double Rainbow Family

Going to a National Rainbow Gathering is an amazing experience. That’s putting it mildly. All six of my now grown kids and two of my three grandkids have accompanied me to at least one of the two I attended. One was 10,000 feet up in the Uinta Mountains of Utah, the other 9,000 feet up in the Sangre de Cristos Mountains of New Mexico.

It’s no surprise I felt at home after finally making it to Welcome Home camp the first time. It reminded me of gatherings of hippies up in the mountains of New Mexico that my family and I attended when we lived next door to the Hog Farm. Only a thousand times bigger. There were an estimated 30,000 in Utah and about 15,000 in New Mexico. That’s a lot of Rainbows camping out in the forest at once!

My backpack immediately felt lighter upon leaving A-Camp (where the bikers and all who wish to drink alcohol hang out). People began telling us, “Welcome Home” right away.

The kitchens are spread far apart, some with lots of impressive cooking equipment. Luvin’ Ovens builds ovens out of stones and mud and bake chocolate chip cookies and deep dish pizza at night and share freely.

At Jesus Camp, food is given freely throughout the day. Something I took note of when my teenagers took all the food to their little campsite about a ten minute walk from mine.

At Granola Funk, they even have a generator, with musicians providing live music on into the night.

Campfires scatter across the mountains, with singing and drumming. People shout, “We love you!” across the meadow to each other. In the main meadow there’s an evening gathering for dinner every evening, and everyone making a huge circle. Many kitchens bring down ice chests and huge potfuls of lentils, rice dishes, other kinds of beans, maybe some kind of kale or spinach dish.

Then on the 4th of July, silence is held until the Om Circle at noon. The silence after so much noise is stupendous.

And to hold hands and Om for twenty minutes after the sacred silence is beyond amazing. It is glorious, and one of the many experiences which give me faith in humanity.

After the Om Circle is the Kiddy Parade, then the Ginger Parade, then the celebration. It’s the Rainbow High Holy Day to pray for peace on Earth.

Instead of money, there’s bartering. Lots of crystals, jewelry, tie dye and Hindu style clothes. Spiritual books.

Conversations about magic and manifesting and how powerful we truly be are common. Healers everywhere (at least that was my experience). It’s a western Shambala.

And coming back to Babylon after so much bliss is not easy. But when things get very rough, I feel the Light inside me, and remember the feeling of holding hands with thousands, and I embrace this world and all her people with my etheric Paravati arms.

My soul longs to live up on a mountain again, but my calling is to remain in the home I was called back to 24 years ago this month. Wow. Time flies! Such a big family, activities of daily living took so much more time when they were small.

I love you all, may your Thursday be blessed!

Thursday’s child has far to go. I was born on a Thursday.

Om Shanti.

Advertisements

Loving Our Shadows

Loving Our Shadows

The past few months have certainly been quite intense! Been missing y’all and am finally in a space where I can create. This space is both in my surroundings and in myself. It’s taken a good while to get my bearings after moving in, while juggling duties of family life (not quite empty nest, but very, very soon), self healing, giving massages and studying healing modalities like trigger point therapy, acupressure, Thai yoga bodywork, aromatherapy, meditation, crystals and herbs.

Being broken so long ago and limping through life at times and other times running marathons and 100 yard dashes has given me such an intimate relationship with Coyote. The Trickster often guides the way, the way of the fool who happily steps off the precipice into the void. Luckily, my angels always surround me and protect me regardless of what I am going through. And this body gets stronger. Hatha yoga and postural mindfulness and strengthening exercises help a lot, as do my crystal healing baths.

Jupiter in Scorpio til November and the recent several weeks of Mars also in Scorpio brought ample opportunity for shadow work, and it is not all pleasant. But if we deny our shadows, they loom larger and more ominous, and if we turn away from our own shadows in fear we create blocks which require Love to dissolve. That’s what surrendering is all about.

Through the cold month of January and my second anniversary at WordPress, I have had to cocoon myself yet again, for sometimes my wings get torn due to the Trickster laughing in and out of my life. And of course we will call experiences to us until we get the lesson.

I know this and am working on releasing old patterns which no longer serve me, and yet find more work to do yet again.

Being in the eclipse corridor, a sense of timelessness accompanies the thick, juicy energies accompanying our literal transformation as the photon belt has arrived and we are also leaving the cosmic debris of an area in space where a galaxy died, and we have been traveling through this dust and darkness for thousands of years.

But now, as predicted in holy books and prophecies around the world, we come to the end of the Kali Yuga age, the end of the Age of Pisces, and the beginning of the Age of Aquarius.

These are the times of the Rainbow Warriors. Each of us with open hearts are part of the Rainbow Bridge connecting Heaven and Earth.

The time is now, and several more months to explore our shadows.

Also, Uranus is in fiery Aries still, and will be moving into Taurus, which is ruled by Venus, in May, and this is important because Uranus is the planet of electricity and change.

May your Monday be blessed wherever you are on this planet. And remember we are all connected.

A’ho Mitakuye Oyasin. Blessed be. Om Shanti.

My Miracle Boy

My Miracle Boy


Twenty two years ago today, my labor finally truly began for the birth of my son Nicolas. He was over ten days post dates and I didn’t want an induction or another cesarean, which my daughter Alyssa, baby #4, was born by. A dear friend offered to help me stay at home as long as possible to prevent induction. I did a lot of research and lots of birthing affirmations, like “My body knows how to create a perfect, healthy baby and I will let it.” And, “My body knows how to give birth normally and I will let it.”

After bumpy road rides and some other recommended forms of self induction, my contractions finally began right about 2:00 p.m. that day. I called my friend and we began walking around the block. Alternating with sitting outside on the back patio, enjoying the weather which had become cooler finally as a thunderstorm was coming on in.

About 8:00 p.m. the storm got very close and a clap of thunder struck, breaking my waters. Now for me, every birth became longer and more difficult rather than more quickly and easier. Well, all my babies were big, ranging from 8-10 pounds.

We decided to get to the hospital at that time, for there was some meconium in the water. I labored all night long, walking up and down the halls as long as I could, and sneaking juice and crackers whenever the nurses weren’t in the room.

By about 7:00 o’clock in the morning, my doctor came to check me and decided to start IV fluids. A couple hours later they decided to start me on Pitocin. At that point I had been in so much pain for over 24 hours I asked for an epidural, even though I had hoped to have a completely natural birth.

So they did, and I dozed off for quite while. Woke to the urge to push and called the nurse, who checked me and probably figured it would take me hours to push since I had had an epidural. I pushed once and my baby’s head began to crown. So the nurse held his head back for ten minutes until the doctor arrived. Not my doctor, who had agreed to go with my birthing plan, but a doctor I had never meant before. I pushed twice and he was born, experiencing what is called a precipitous birth.

I told the doctor not to cut the life giving cord which would provide him with oxygen while he adjusted to living outside the womb, and he said in a thick Okie accent, “That’s not the way we do it with meconium.” And so he cut the cord and I swear if I had been able to move my legs I would have kicked his hands away. Then they handed my baby to an attendant, who deep suctioned him before giving him a chance to breathe. So during that process, he inhaled meconium and both his lungs burst. And they didn’t notice a thing was wrong with him while they washed him up and checked him out before giving him to me to nurse.

I tried to nurse but he couldn’t. He was breathing but would just back away and I could sense he was distressed, so I asked them to come check him out again. They took him back to the nursery and checked him out again for about twenty minutes and brought him back to me. By this point, he was already beginning to struggle to breathe, and there was no way he was going to be able to nurse. He was fighting for his life. So this time I called them and was adamant that he be checked out more thoroughly immediately, sensing this was a life threatening emergency.

They took him away and wouldn’t talk to me for hours. Every time I called, the only thing they would say was that he was very sick.

My daughter Nina drove the rest of the kids home and lit a candle and prayed, asking God for a sign that her new baby brother was going to be alright. Then she went in the back yard and a thousand birds flew by. And the day before he was born a Monarch butterfly landed on my belly and stayed there (as I sat resting on the patio behind my house in the warm sun) for about half an hour.

Those were both signs from the Heavenly realm. Signs that angels are watching over us, and especially immediately praying for intervention for a close loved one.

It wasn’t until about midnight that the doctor who saved Nick’s life came in and told us what was going on. They had to give him a chest tube twice and when that didn’t work, on a respirator. He also developed hospital acquired Group B strep septicemia, which they found out the next day. It not only got into his blood, it was in his respiratory and urinary systems. So they had him on all kinds of tubes and was strapped down because he kept yanking them out. My baby boy was a true fighter.

They told us not to touch him for it would make him excited but I insisted I must, knowing a mother’s touch can one of the most healing things for a newborn baby. They told me that was okay as long as I didn’t move my hand. So I held my hand on his little arm, or held it on his chest and looked into his hazel eyes and he looked back at me, and his eyes were clear and bright even though they had him sedated so as to not struggle so much and then another medicine to maintain his blood pressure. He told me without words not to worry, not to be afraid, that he would be okay.

His father was very supportive, as was my doctor, who arranged for me to be able to stay in the hospital for three whole days, due to the circumstances. So we stayed with Nick as much as possible, praying the whole time, and then would go to my room where I used a double Medela pump to provide colostrum for my baby. Then we would go to the chapel and weep and pray.

They told us to prepare ourselves for the worst. Fifty percent of babies who only had the Strep died, they said. And Nick was working on healing his lungs. They said the best case scenario would be that he would need to be on a respirator for at least a month.

So we prayed more, our families joining in. And at the end of his third day of life, his father’s sister and husband who is a pastor and their whole congregation were praying for Nick at the same time my mom and a spiritual group of friends were doing the same – one group in Indiana, my mom’s group in Los Angeles. Us in the middle. And right after we got back from the chapel, for we had been praying at that time too, not knowing about the timing of these serendipitous groups of people praying for our son, the nurse came running down to tell us Nicolas was breathing against the respirator, and she had already begun to turn it down. She was so joyous and we burst into tears and rushed to the nursery. His eyes had brightened even more, and we were told we could hold him the next day.

We had to go home that night, but by 5:00 a.m. I was asking if I could return to be with my baby.

The nurses loved us at that point and said yes. And there he was, respirator off, with a little hood for oxygen over him, NG tube pulled out too!

We were both able to hold him that day, and I was able to rock him and give him a bottle of my very own amazing colostrum. And the next day, I was able to finally nurse him. And my milk was already in, thanks to the powerful double Medela pump.

Next time the NICU doctor checked him, I told her we had prayed for a miracle, and she replied, “Well, it certainly worked! He is doing very well, a beautiful baby boy. He’s a fighter.” And she beamed at us.

He was transferred to the regular nursery the next day, but they kept him until he was 9 days old, a joyous day of returning home with our new baby finally. For we had pretty much lived up at the hospital with him until we could take him home.

And now he is an amazing, strong, loving, creative young man, about to turn 22 years old. Out of all of my six kids, only went through this one scary ordeal which turned into a miracle. And even though every baby is a miracle and I love all mine with all my heart, I will always call Nick Nixta Scheid my miracle boy.

Time Stretched Into Eternity


Time Stretched Into Eternity

We sat alone all together,
stripped of family, home and liberty
forgotten by so many,
I think they threw away the key
as Time stretched into Eternity
there at the CCDC.

Cleveland County Detention Center
Cold metal, concrete, cold air.
The night they brought me there,
I prayed to God to let me die.
But the ladies put their arms around me,
brought me tissues for my tears.
These women became my new family,
there at the CCDC.

Bright orange scrub sets
of jail clothes we were given.
Old grey scratchy woolen blankets,
such a place I’d never lived in.
Like cattle we were driven
for the food that we were given
as Time stretched into Eternity
there at the CCDC.

The main source of our misery
was that we’d been stripped
of all we held dear.
So many of us had a need to mother,
so we turned to one another,
We listened to each other’s stories,
so many stories to tell.
It stopped feeling so much like hell,
and as our prayer circle did grow
each of us began to glow
there at the CCDC.

To help ease the cold and misery
I began yoga every day.
It made the ladies laugh with glee
at the ways I would bend and stretch
and soon they asked me to show them the way
and the yoga class grew and grew
and we began to feel brand new
during my 97 days
there at the CCDC.

Twelve long years have passed
by so quickly since that time
and I am doing well,
but I know that there in CCDC
somebody’s mother, daughter, sister
is spending yet another day.
There has got to be another way
for the sisters in a world set apart –
each has a story which can break the heart
as Time is still stretching into Eternity
there at the CCDC.

Oh, the freedom of living in the land of trees after 97 days of living in the underground concrete forest was beyond bliss. My friends took me in and comforted me, gave me shelter, had collected my most precious belongings and sent me love and light while I was locked up, gave me hugs and a joyous reunion concert at our favorite local dive. The last song, dedicated to me, was called “Gotta get my baby out of jail” and one of my best friends twirled me around the dance floor and another dear friend picked me up in his arms afterwards and set me on the standing bar. It was our favorite hippie band and so many friends were there, buying me shots and spanking me playfully. After all that time locked up I decided to go out and drink for a few times to celebrate my freedom, but since I hadn’t smoked pot for 97 days, I didn’t partake at all before pleading into Drug Court since I figured it would be easier to go through the diversion program I was scheduled to plead into within sixty days of my release if I just simply abstained. And I was right. Two years and four months i was in that program, and I was on pins and needles the whole time. First there was all the shame for what I had done – selling pot while living close to a school and being the mother of so many kids – my youngest only ages 8 and 5 – was so irresponsible and made the whole community consider me a dangerous person. I didn’t see myself that way – I was so naive. Didn’t think of helping some friends find herb as a bad or dangerous thing, although I was aware it was illegal, I was raised in the counter culture – and all my parents’ friends smoked pot with them. It was their favorite pastime. It was only when they got drunk that things ever went awry, so I thought it was alcohol that was bad, not pot.

And now, thirteen years later, things are definitely changing, but not in the state I live in. Someday I will write a memoir of those 97 days which is much more detailed than this poem. I am thankful to my poetry teacher for getting me to reach inside and personalize it more.

Oh, and please forgive me. And now my daughter is in prison for her problems with addiction to hard drugs, but at least she is in the treatment plan of the place, and it is minimum security. Please forgive me for revealing this. But one thing I would like to emphasize is that both my daughter and I are good people. I got treatment for my problem, and she is getting treatment for hers. I just wish there was treatment available for those without the proper insurance which didn’t have to be so harsh and punitive. Because I am still recovering from the PTSD of the SWAT team that broke down my front door thirteen years ago. I spent years and years making up for my transgressions. Paid thousands and thousands of dollars, went to hundreds of meetings, classes, court every week, was drug tested every week up to three times a week and never failed.

Oh, and when I first began my blog I was in pain management for all the issues with my spine and fibromyalgia. I am happy to say that two weeks after my ovaries were removed I titrated myself off of that pain medication and I am off of them now!!!!!

I consider 2016 a year of tremendous change and it definitely was a year of purification, just like Kaypacha predicted it would be. Thank you all for following my blog, I love you all so much.

May 2017 bring you all many blessings of love, peace, prosperity and good health.

Om namaha shivaya. Rainbow Blessings of Love and Light.

Cleveland County Detention Center


Cleveland County Detention Center

Time stretches into Eternity,
no one knew it could last so long.
Locked down again for another’s fight
we can never right what is wrong.

Forgotten by so many
I think they’ve thrown away the key
and Time stretches into Eternity
here in the CCDC.

They’ve taken away our identity
and everything we hold dear –
some here for an infinity
some know their release is near.
How medieval is our situation
this course which we have taken –
society considers us forsaken
here in the CCDC.

But some have not forgotten
and some prayers are yet heard
none of us are wholly rotten –
being kept so long is quite absurd
here in the CCDC.

So make sure you have a plan.
Be prepared to make a final stand
for Justice, Peace, and Liberty
Here in the CCDC.

Once you’re out, be strong and true
Make sure and follow all the laws too
Because this is a place you
don’t want to return to
here in the CCDC.
No, you don’t want to come back
to a life of hell in the CCDC.

Copyright reserved @ Kamea Moonmaiden 2003

P.S. Now that I have been blogging nearly one year, I decided to reveal this part of my history from many years ago. My offence was for an herb which is now legal recreationally in eight states, with many more about to transition, while medical cannabis is legal in nearly 30 states.

So now you know. Next I will share the revised version I wrote in my Advanced Senior Creative Writing Poetry Class.

Celebrating Memories

Celebrating Memories

Today is the family memorial here in Norman for my sweet friend who recently passed away. I am one to totally embrace the Christmas spirit (not the commercialization so much, though, we keep it simple and sweet, there are just so many of us that’s the best way to go), so this year it is especially important to me to focus on prayer morning, noon and night. As many of you have most likely noticed, I don’t follow a certain path or belong to a religion. However, my faith is strong and I would say Celtic Christian would be very close to the beliefs I espouse. Nature based and completely eclectic, with the Mother and Father standing together, not patriarchal but egalitarian.

When we lose someone we love very much reality itself seems to drastically change. I have lost other friends and relatives since my dear mom passed back in 1999, but this loss is hitting very hard. My sweet friend was one of those unapologetically beautiful young women with a heart full of kindness and a good strong head on her shoulders. She took lots of adorable selfies and had beautiful tattoos decorating her arms and her back. She was smart and sensitive and generous. She opened her home to my daughters when they needed a friend. She wrote to my Alyssa as well.

We are all still in shock, but we still put up the Christmas tree. My phone broke the morning the news was on FB. Kori’s last selfie she posted to Instagram – said she was stranded in NM but at least she looked cute. She loved herself and so many of us loved her too! Maybe sometimes Creator calls angels back home early precisely because they have reached a level of self love radiating the same outwardly to all (as opposed to narcissism)?

I don’t know, but my whole family is experiencing this loss together, for our families have been friends for sixteen years. We are treasuring each other just that much more, for we are reminded of how fragile life is, and how important it is to let each other know how much we do love each other.

I know Kori will be watching over us – she was an angel on earth and will be our special angel on the other side.

When I was able to visit Alyssa a couple of weeks ago, she was under the impression that I was going to remain without a phone indefinitely. And I am the only one she can reach regularly, so she was feeling cut off. And heartbroken. But her dorm sisters flocked around her to support her, they wrote a group letter of love, healing and sympathy. So ninety young women who never even met Kori are adding their prayers for the family.

My ex husband and youngest son (who is 18 years old) went out to New Mexico for the funeral. Then last Sunday there was a benefit concert at The Deli for her. Three of my grown kids went there, and my best friend took me. So many people there. Norman is a city but it has a small town feel. Some of my kids and I have nearly 200 FB friends in common or something crazy like that. We are all connected.

Luckily, Alyssa did get my letter with my new phone number and I was able to speak to her today! That was a relief. Also, they have special Christmas snack packages families can order, so that’s a nice privilege. She was promoted again, this time to Recreational Director. She looks beautiful. Her uniform suits her quite well. She gets to send me a picture soon! Her brothers are going to visit her in January, and Nina and Loralai and I will be going very close to Christmas, but we want it to be a surprise.

So many people needing prayers, perhaps this is one reason for so many souls crossing over with each new wave of incoming energy. Because our atoms are literally made of the same molecular structure as the stars, just as we are filled with the clay of the earth, our Mother. No wonder it feels so great to walk barefoot on the grass and sit up against a tree, just soaking up that great tree energy.

So now I will do a sound healing bath and irrigate my sinuses, and perhaps all the tears I shed so far today will prepare me for being strong for my dear friends who have lost such a beautiful daughter, sister, friend.

I love you all. Love one another. Here is a picture of all four best friend girls. My daughter Alyssa is second to the end on the right and Kori is the furthest to the right. Epiphany is furthest
on the left, with Amanda next to her. My girls.

She Flew Away Too Soon

She Flew Away Too Soon


Oh, blessed was she,
my daughter’s best friend,
a heart full of kindness,
she was a walking goddess,
tiny, loyal and true,
big green eyes,
nothing could prepare
us for losing her.

Life is so fragile,
each moment to be
treasured,
all of it –
the love, the laughter,
the pain, the sorrow.

For all it took
was one fateful moment,
one terrible car crash,
and our angel grew true wings,
God called her back too soon,
and she flew away before
she even knew what happened.

I sensed her confusion
the first few days,
she knew not she wasn’t
coming back to grace
us with her beautiful smile,
but now she’s coming to us
in our dreams.

She came to one of
my sons the other night,
told him not to worry,
that on the other side,
everything is okay
and we will see her
one fateful day,
when our own time comes
to fly.

She flew away far too soon,
this daughter of my heart.
My own daughter crushed,
devastated, in shock,
in disbelief, this tragic
news I had to share,
our first visit in months.

Somehow, the article
in our local paper
surfaced in her dorm,
so she knew it to be true.
No time to say goodbye
to one so dear, so loving,
so full of life,
and spit and vinegar too,
she was spicy.
And powerful.
Born on 11/11, she was
only 27 for 17 days.

We’re so thankful
she didn’t suffer,
instead she flew away,
flew away too soon,
our little butterfly,
Kori Lynn,
we will all love
you forever,
and we all wish
to be better people,
like you,
as you fly high
above us all,
yet remain a constant
presence in our hearts
sweet, sweet young woman.

Thank you for being
such a Light on this planet,
for you touched so many hearts.
You were a devoted aunt, sister,
daughter and friend.
You truly did shine
like a rock star,
beautiful Kori Lynn.

May you spread your wings
and fly to the highest
heaven, and please keep an
eye on all of us who
will always, always love you.

Blessed be.

© Kamea Moonmaiden