Double Rainbow Family

Double Rainbow Family

Going to a National Rainbow Gathering is an amazing experience. That’s putting it mildly. All six of my now grown kids and two of my three grandkids have accompanied me to at least one of the two I attended. One was 10,000 feet up in the Uinta Mountains of Utah, the other 9,000 feet up in the Sangre de Cristos Mountains of New Mexico.

It’s no surprise I felt at home after finally making it to Welcome Home camp the first time. It reminded me of gatherings of hippies up in the mountains of New Mexico that my family and I attended when we lived next door to the Hog Farm. Only a thousand times bigger. There were an estimated 30,000 in Utah and about 15,000 in New Mexico. That’s a lot of Rainbows camping out in the forest at once!

My backpack immediately felt lighter upon leaving A-Camp (where the bikers and all who wish to drink alcohol hang out). People began telling us, “Welcome Home” right away.

The kitchens are spread far apart, some with lots of impressive cooking equipment. Luvin’ Ovens builds ovens out of stones and mud and bake chocolate chip cookies and deep dish pizza at night and share freely.

At Jesus Camp, food is given freely throughout the day. Something I took note of when my teenagers took all the food to their little campsite about a ten minute walk from mine.

At Granola Funk, they even have a generator, with musicians providing live music on into the night.

Campfires scatter across the mountains, with singing and drumming. People shout, “We love you!” across the meadow to each other. In the main meadow there’s an evening gathering for dinner every evening, and everyone making a huge circle. Many kitchens bring down ice chests and huge potfuls of lentils, rice dishes, other kinds of beans, maybe some kind of kale or spinach dish.

Then on the 4th of July, silence is held until the Om Circle at noon. The silence after so much noise is stupendous.

And to hold hands and Om for twenty minutes after the sacred silence is beyond amazing. It is glorious, and one of the many experiences which give me faith in humanity.

After the Om Circle is the Kiddy Parade, then the Ginger Parade, then the celebration. It’s the Rainbow High Holy Day to pray for peace on Earth.

Instead of money, there’s bartering. Lots of crystals, jewelry, tie dye and Hindu style clothes. Spiritual books.

Conversations about magic and manifesting and how powerful we truly be are common. Healers everywhere (at least that was my experience). It’s a western Shambala.

And coming back to Babylon after so much bliss is not easy. But when things get very rough, I feel the Light inside me, and remember the feeling of holding hands with thousands, and I embrace this world and all her people with my etheric Paravati arms.

My soul longs to live up on a mountain again, but my calling is to remain in the home I was called back to 24 years ago this month. Wow. Time flies! Such a big family, activities of daily living took so much more time when they were small.

I love you all, may your Thursday be blessed!

Thursday’s child has far to go. I was born on a Thursday.

Om Shanti.


Loving Our Shadows

Loving Our Shadows

The past few months have certainly been quite intense! Been missing y’all and am finally in a space where I can create. This space is both in my surroundings and in myself. It’s taken a good while to get my bearings after moving in, while juggling duties of family life (not quite empty nest, but very, very soon), self healing, giving massages and studying healing modalities like trigger point therapy, acupressure, Thai yoga bodywork, aromatherapy, meditation, crystals and herbs.

Being broken so long ago and limping through life at times and other times running marathons and 100 yard dashes has given me such an intimate relationship with Coyote. The Trickster often guides the way, the way of the fool who happily steps off the precipice into the void. Luckily, my angels always surround me and protect me regardless of what I am going through. And this body gets stronger. Hatha yoga and postural mindfulness and strengthening exercises help a lot, as do my crystal healing baths.

Jupiter in Scorpio til November and the recent several weeks of Mars also in Scorpio brought ample opportunity for shadow work, and it is not all pleasant. But if we deny our shadows, they loom larger and more ominous, and if we turn away from our own shadows in fear we create blocks which require Love to dissolve. That’s what surrendering is all about.

Through the cold month of January and my second anniversary at WordPress, I have had to cocoon myself yet again, for sometimes my wings get torn due to the Trickster laughing in and out of my life. And of course we will call experiences to us until we get the lesson.

I know this and am working on releasing old patterns which no longer serve me, and yet find more work to do yet again.

Being in the eclipse corridor, a sense of timelessness accompanies the thick, juicy energies accompanying our literal transformation as the photon belt has arrived and we are also leaving the cosmic debris of an area in space where a galaxy died, and we have been traveling through this dust and darkness for thousands of years.

But now, as predicted in holy books and prophecies around the world, we come to the end of the Kali Yuga age, the end of the Age of Pisces, and the beginning of the Age of Aquarius.

These are the times of the Rainbow Warriors. Each of us with open hearts are part of the Rainbow Bridge connecting Heaven and Earth.

The time is now, and several more months to explore our shadows.

Also, Uranus is in fiery Aries still, and will be moving into Taurus, which is ruled by Venus, in May, and this is important because Uranus is the planet of electricity and change.

May your Monday be blessed wherever you are on this planet. And remember we are all connected.

A’ho Mitakuye Oyasin. Blessed be. Om Shanti.

The Hall of New Beginnings

The Hall of New Beginnings

Floating between
in the hall of
New Beginnings

this world between worlds

where infinite possibilities

stretch out
the imaginary
of Time.

This is No-Time
and No-Space,
this Longer Now,
this No-Thing-Ness

place where I am free,

I am loved and loving,
this cloak of pain and scars
softly fading,
my rainbow cloak
brightly glowing,
for I herald from the stars.

Planted in this world of Light
and Shadow to help new beginnings grow.

My children are my garden,
they are the quivering arrows
of life shot from my bow.
They are grown into saplings now,
their roots digging deeper into this earth,
their branches spreading far and wide,
they too are planting gardens,
they too are in this Hall of New Beginnings.
They too herald from the stars.

Healing now,
loving ourselves,
loving each other
loving this world and
all her inhabitants
we are breathing
and loving the New Earth
into being.

Om Shanti.

Blessed be.

A’ho Mitakuye Oyasin.

© Kamea Moonmaiden

Bring It!

Bring It!

Four weeks ago, I was still in my little flat on stilts, had just found this townhome I am living in now, my first husband had just passed away, had the bilateral sacroiliac injections, and the construction workers began to strip the siding off the balcony, requiring me to dismantle my beloved morning glories and balcony garden.

On a Thursday night that fateful week in October, we had tornado weather here in Oklahoma. When the sirens went off, at first I thought about taking shelter. But my son Adam was quite ill and said he wasn’t moving, and my yogi son was visiting that night, had helped pack some of my mountains of books for me.

I also had four cats with me and only one cat carrier, and could not fathom leaving them.

Soooo, instead of seeking shelter from the storm, I went out on the balcony and faced it head on.

Lo and behold, a tornado was headed straight towards us. I looked that tornado in the face (had just manifested all the money I needed to move in and also to pay my water bill), filled my heart with pure Christ light, and fearlessly shouted, “Bring it!” And it swerved east right at Highway 9, about 1/2 mile south of me. Straight shot.

The unfolding of many last minute miracles along with daily challenges and so much hard work, but all wrapped up in the long arms of Love despite appearances of said challenges, has been a journey of forgiveness and leaps forward in my own growth has occurred!

My wings are here at last, and I know I can sustain this magic, we all can.

It’s now over a year since I was in pain management, and despite the enormous physical challenge of moving out of what I now see was a sort of punishment apartment, (even though I did turn it into a sanctuary, and my balcony garden was beautiful), I have managed to pace myself most days, for when I don’t, this body temple certainly lets me know pretty quickly!

My message for this Tuesday full of Grace, is to know that even if there is only a tiny part of you still healthy and strong, you can heal yourself. There are many paths and many methods, but please don’t put all your faith in any one person (a doctor, for example), or healing method. If someone gives you a negative prognosis or prediction, don’t believe it. Look inside for the Truth.

For all the healing in all the world is right here and right now, in this breath and this heartbeat. When we relax into ourselves, let go of the trauma of the past and stop worrying about the future, we walk in Grace.

Like Jesus said, “My Peace I giveth to you.”

That Peace which passeth understanding. It is not the understanding of this world. For things are never as they seem, my friends, never truly as they seem.

This world of Maya, illusion, the shadowy parts of ourselves showing through intensely right now, bringing secrets to light, provides us ample opportunity to complete this deep, deep stage of our individual and collective journeys.

As Gerold Janpowlski says, “Love is letting go of fear.”

Just breathe. And give thanks.

My Miracle Boy

My Miracle Boy

Twenty two years ago today, my labor finally truly began for the birth of my son Nicolas. He was over ten days post dates and I didn’t want an induction or another cesarean, which my daughter Alyssa, baby #4, was born by. A dear friend offered to help me stay at home as long as possible to prevent induction. I did a lot of research and lots of birthing affirmations, like “My body knows how to create a perfect, healthy baby and I will let it.” And, “My body knows how to give birth normally and I will let it.”

After bumpy road rides and some other recommended forms of self induction, my contractions finally began right about 2:00 p.m. that day. I called my friend and we began walking around the block. Alternating with sitting outside on the back patio, enjoying the weather which had become cooler finally as a thunderstorm was coming on in.

About 8:00 p.m. the storm got very close and a clap of thunder struck, breaking my waters. Now for me, every birth became longer and more difficult rather than more quickly and easier. Well, all my babies were big, ranging from 8-10 pounds.

We decided to get to the hospital at that time, for there was some meconium in the water. I labored all night long, walking up and down the halls as long as I could, and sneaking juice and crackers whenever the nurses weren’t in the room.

By about 7:00 o’clock in the morning, my doctor came to check me and decided to start IV fluids. A couple hours later they decided to start me on Pitocin. At that point I had been in so much pain for over 24 hours I asked for an epidural, even though I had hoped to have a completely natural birth.

So they did, and I dozed off for quite while. Woke to the urge to push and called the nurse, who checked me and probably figured it would take me hours to push since I had had an epidural. I pushed once and my baby’s head began to crown. So the nurse held his head back for ten minutes until the doctor arrived. Not my doctor, who had agreed to go with my birthing plan, but a doctor I had never meant before. I pushed twice and he was born, experiencing what is called a precipitous birth.

I told the doctor not to cut the life giving cord which would provide him with oxygen while he adjusted to living outside the womb, and he said in a thick Okie accent, “That’s not the way we do it with meconium.” And so he cut the cord and I swear if I had been able to move my legs I would have kicked his hands away. Then they handed my baby to an attendant, who deep suctioned him before giving him a chance to breathe. So during that process, he inhaled meconium and both his lungs burst. And they didn’t notice a thing was wrong with him while they washed him up and checked him out before giving him to me to nurse.

I tried to nurse but he couldn’t. He was breathing but would just back away and I could sense he was distressed, so I asked them to come check him out again. They took him back to the nursery and checked him out again for about twenty minutes and brought him back to me. By this point, he was already beginning to struggle to breathe, and there was no way he was going to be able to nurse. He was fighting for his life. So this time I called them and was adamant that he be checked out more thoroughly immediately, sensing this was a life threatening emergency.

They took him away and wouldn’t talk to me for hours. Every time I called, the only thing they would say was that he was very sick.

My daughter Nina drove the rest of the kids home and lit a candle and prayed, asking God for a sign that her new baby brother was going to be alright. Then she went in the back yard and a thousand birds flew by. And the day before he was born a Monarch butterfly landed on my belly and stayed there (as I sat resting on the patio behind my house in the warm sun) for about half an hour.

Those were both signs from the Heavenly realm. Signs that angels are watching over us, and especially immediately praying for intervention for a close loved one.

It wasn’t until about midnight that the doctor who saved Nick’s life came in and told us what was going on. They had to give him a chest tube twice and when that didn’t work, on a respirator. He also developed hospital acquired Group B strep septicemia, which they found out the next day. It not only got into his blood, it was in his respiratory and urinary systems. So they had him on all kinds of tubes and was strapped down because he kept yanking them out. My baby boy was a true fighter.

They told us not to touch him for it would make him excited but I insisted I must, knowing a mother’s touch can one of the most healing things for a newborn baby. They told me that was okay as long as I didn’t move my hand. So I held my hand on his little arm, or held it on his chest and looked into his hazel eyes and he looked back at me, and his eyes were clear and bright even though they had him sedated so as to not struggle so much and then another medicine to maintain his blood pressure. He told me without words not to worry, not to be afraid, that he would be okay.

His father was very supportive, as was my doctor, who arranged for me to be able to stay in the hospital for three whole days, due to the circumstances. So we stayed with Nick as much as possible, praying the whole time, and then would go to my room where I used a double Medela pump to provide colostrum for my baby. Then we would go to the chapel and weep and pray.

They told us to prepare ourselves for the worst. Fifty percent of babies who only had the Strep died, they said. And Nick was working on healing his lungs. They said the best case scenario would be that he would need to be on a respirator for at least a month.

So we prayed more, our families joining in. And at the end of his third day of life, his father’s sister and husband who is a pastor and their whole congregation were praying for Nick at the same time my mom and a spiritual group of friends were doing the same – one group in Indiana, my mom’s group in Los Angeles. Us in the middle. And right after we got back from the chapel, for we had been praying at that time too, not knowing about the timing of these serendipitous groups of people praying for our son, the nurse came running down to tell us Nicolas was breathing against the respirator, and she had already begun to turn it down. She was so joyous and we burst into tears and rushed to the nursery. His eyes had brightened even more, and we were told we could hold him the next day.

We had to go home that night, but by 5:00 a.m. I was asking if I could return to be with my baby.

The nurses loved us at that point and said yes. And there he was, respirator off, with a little hood for oxygen over him, NG tube pulled out too!

We were both able to hold him that day, and I was able to rock him and give him a bottle of my very own amazing colostrum. And the next day, I was able to finally nurse him. And my milk was already in, thanks to the powerful double Medela pump.

Next time the NICU doctor checked him, I told her we had prayed for a miracle, and she replied, “Well, it certainly worked! He is doing very well, a beautiful baby boy. He’s a fighter.” And she beamed at us.

He was transferred to the regular nursery the next day, but they kept him until he was 9 days old, a joyous day of returning home with our new baby finally. For we had pretty much lived up at the hospital with him until we could take him home.

And now he is an amazing, strong, loving, creative young man, about to turn 22 years old. Out of all of my six kids, only went through this one scary ordeal which turned into a miracle. And even though every baby is a miracle and I love all mine with all my heart, I will always call Nick Nixta Scheid my miracle boy.

Eclipse Eve And Breathing

Eclipse Eve And Breathing

Hello, my friends, how is everyone doing? Lots of different answers – my prayer is that you are doing okay, or even better than okay. For it is apparent that the tsunami wave portion of the Shift has begun in full earnest.

So for every act that leads us into darkness, people will stand up for our fellow human beings, for our drinking water, our air, our planet and all living creatures great and small. It’s good to see people waking up. It’s terribly sad to see people promoting hatred and fear. However, this is so shocking that more and more of us are waking up and singing songs of love.

Every day I pray for the time to be shortened that the suffering may cease.

Every day I am paying more attention to my actions, thoughts and words. Learning radical self-love and being okay with certain things taking me longer than they used to. Giving thanks to still be here, alive and breathing, and finally things are changing on a radical scale.

My visit in California was timely and serendipitous. My whole family welcomed me with open arms. We are all letting go of the past on so many levels. I didn’t even realize how many more layers I still had around me. Being perfectly open to receive and give pure love and good company in return for hospitality. Haven’t had many experiences like that. The memories which sprang up are still hanging out near the front of my mind, rather than in the far recesses, the places iv gain access from.

In addition to attending the Chinese New Year in Chinatown, we stayed in an AIRbnb in Venice which was like a fairy garden house. It’s called The Tree house, and transports you to another dimension moment you step into the gate. An uneven cobblestone pathway, with bamboo trees and tapestries concealing private entrances and signs leading the way to the main courtyard, where two canopied beds face each other in kitty corner fashion, an orange tree and a waterfall cleverly placed on the side of the house leading into a small pond, adding you the magic. A huge clear quartz crystal is on a table near one of the beds, is placed in the ground in front of a door. Three are tiny lights on all the trees, wind chimes and more tapestries give a gypsy feel to the area. The house is 102 years old, and everything that could be repurposed or refinished has been.

The bathroom combines antique and modern with a wonderful three spigoted shower and an old-fashioned four legged bathtub, a skylight, and a huge spider plant under a glass panel in the floor! Under the floor. It was amazing!

There were signs to remind people to clean up after themselves and a set of instructions for making ourselves home in the kitchen.

My sister and I ate salad and then walked down to Venice Beach to watch the sunset for our last night together. She is so sweet! Now we are looking forward to seeing each other again when my youngest son graduates from high school. My baby.

How that happened so quickly is beyond me! After becoming a mother at the age of 16, the majority of my “work” as a mom will be done.

Anyway, I have had to cut back on my spiritual activism a bit because traveling was a bit rough on my neck, but it’s getting better each day. Nowadays, if it does flare up, I pay attention right away! I don’t want to ever have to be in the kind of pain I went through before. For a long time it was that way. Having less pain is, for me, a miracle.

And I only mention it because it’s amazing that I am getting better, because at one time I wasn’t sure I was going to make it. From this point on, I will continue to keep shining and taking good care of me so that I can help many others too.

Deep peace of the stars to you, my friends. I love you all!

Time Stretched Into Eternity

Time Stretched Into Eternity

We sat alone all together,
stripped of family, home and liberty
forgotten by so many,
I think they threw away the key
as Time stretched into Eternity
there at the CCDC.

Cleveland County Detention Center
Cold metal, concrete, cold air.
The night they brought me there,
I prayed to God to let me die.
But the ladies put their arms around me,
brought me tissues for my tears.
These women became my new family,
there at the CCDC.

Bright orange scrub sets
of jail clothes we were given.
Old grey scratchy woolen blankets,
such a place I’d never lived in.
Like cattle we were driven
for the food that we were given
as Time stretched into Eternity
there at the CCDC.

The main source of our misery
was that we’d been stripped
of all we held dear.
So many of us had a need to mother,
so we turned to one another,
We listened to each other’s stories,
so many stories to tell.
It stopped feeling so much like hell,
and as our prayer circle did grow
each of us began to glow
there at the CCDC.

To help ease the cold and misery
I began yoga every day.
It made the ladies laugh with glee
at the ways I would bend and stretch
and soon they asked me to show them the way
and the yoga class grew and grew
and we began to feel brand new
during my 97 days
there at the CCDC.

Twelve long years have passed
by so quickly since that time
and I am doing well,
but I know that there in CCDC
somebody’s mother, daughter, sister
is spending yet another day.
There has got to be another way
for the sisters in a world set apart –
each has a story which can break the heart
as Time is still stretching into Eternity
there at the CCDC.

Oh, the freedom of living in the land of trees after 97 days of living in the underground concrete forest was beyond bliss. My friends took me in and comforted me, gave me shelter, had collected my most precious belongings and sent me love and light while I was locked up, gave me hugs and a joyous reunion concert at our favorite local dive. The last song, dedicated to me, was called “Gotta get my baby out of jail” and one of my best friends twirled me around the dance floor and another dear friend picked me up in his arms afterwards and set me on the standing bar. It was our favorite hippie band and so many friends were there, buying me shots and spanking me playfully. After all that time locked up I decided to go out and drink for a few times to celebrate my freedom, but since I hadn’t smoked pot for 97 days, I didn’t partake at all before pleading into Drug Court since I figured it would be easier to go through the diversion program I was scheduled to plead into within sixty days of my release if I just simply abstained. And I was right. Two years and four months i was in that program, and I was on pins and needles the whole time. First there was all the shame for what I had done – selling pot while living close to a school and being the mother of so many kids – my youngest only ages 8 and 5 – was so irresponsible and made the whole community consider me a dangerous person. I didn’t see myself that way – I was so naive. Didn’t think of helping some friends find herb as a bad or dangerous thing, although I was aware it was illegal, I was raised in the counter culture – and all my parents’ friends smoked pot with them. It was their favorite pastime. It was only when they got drunk that things ever went awry, so I thought it was alcohol that was bad, not pot.

And now, thirteen years later, things are definitely changing, but not in the state I live in. Someday I will write a memoir of those 97 days which is much more detailed than this poem. I am thankful to my poetry teacher for getting me to reach inside and personalize it more.

Oh, and please forgive me. And now my daughter is in prison for her problems with addiction to hard drugs, but at least she is in the treatment plan of the place, and it is minimum security. Please forgive me for revealing this. But one thing I would like to emphasize is that both my daughter and I are good people. I got treatment for my problem, and she is getting treatment for hers. I just wish there was treatment available for those without the proper insurance which didn’t have to be so harsh and punitive. Because I am still recovering from the PTSD of the SWAT team that broke down my front door thirteen years ago. I spent years and years making up for my transgressions. Paid thousands and thousands of dollars, went to hundreds of meetings, classes, court every week, was drug tested every week up to three times a week and never failed.

Oh, and when I first began my blog I was in pain management for all the issues with my spine and fibromyalgia. I am happy to say that two weeks after my ovaries were removed I titrated myself off of that pain medication and I am off of them now!!!!!

I consider 2016 a year of tremendous change and it definitely was a year of purification, just like Kaypacha predicted it would be. Thank you all for following my blog, I love you all so much.

May 2017 bring you all many blessings of love, peace, prosperity and good health.

Om namaha shivaya. Rainbow Blessings of Love and Light.