Eclipse Eve And Breathing

Eclipse Eve And Breathing

Hello, my friends, how is everyone doing? Lots of different answers – my prayer is that you are doing okay, or even better than okay. For it is apparent that the tsunami wave portion of the Shift has begun in full earnest.

So for every act that leads us into darkness, people will stand up for our fellow human beings, for our drinking water, our air, our planet and all living creatures great and small. It’s good to see people waking up. It’s terribly sad to see people promoting hatred and fear. However, this is so shocking that more and more of us are waking up and singing songs of love.

Every day I pray for the time to be shortened that the suffering may cease.

Every day I am paying more attention to my actions, thoughts and words. Learning radical self-love and being okay with certain things taking me longer than they used to. Giving thanks to still be here, alive and breathing, and finally things are changing on a radical scale.

My visit in California was timely and serendipitous. My whole family welcomed me with open arms. We are all letting go of the past on so many levels. I didn’t even realize how many more layers I still had around me. Being perfectly open to receive and give pure love and good company in return for hospitality. Haven’t had many experiences like that. The memories which sprang up are still hanging out near the front of my mind, rather than in the far recesses, the places iv gain access from.

In addition to attending the Chinese New Year in Chinatown, we stayed in an AIRbnb in Venice which was like a fairy garden house. It’s called The Tree house, and transports you to another dimension moment you step into the gate. An uneven cobblestone pathway, with bamboo trees and tapestries concealing private entrances and signs leading the way to the main courtyard, where two canopied beds face each other in kitty corner fashion, an orange tree and a waterfall cleverly placed on the side of the house leading into a small pond, adding you the magic. A huge clear quartz crystal is on a table near one of the beds, is placed in the ground in front of a door. Three are tiny lights on all the trees, wind chimes and more tapestries give a gypsy feel to the area. The house is 102 years old, and everything that could be repurposed or refinished has been.

The bathroom combines antique and modern with a wonderful three spigoted shower and an old-fashioned four legged bathtub, a skylight, and a huge spider plant under a glass panel in the floor! Under the floor. It was amazing!

There were signs to remind people to clean up after themselves and a set of instructions for making ourselves home in the kitchen.

My sister and I ate salad and then walked down to Venice Beach to watch the sunset for our last night together. She is so sweet! Now we are looking forward to seeing each other again when my youngest son graduates from high school. My baby.

How that happened so quickly is beyond me! After becoming a mother at the age of 16, the majority of my “work” as a mom will be done.

Anyway, I have had to cut back on my spiritual activism a bit because traveling was a bit rough on my neck, but it’s getting better each day. Nowadays, if it does flare up, I pay attention right away! I don’t want to ever have to be in the kind of pain I went through before. For a long time it was that way. Having less pain is, for me, a miracle.

And I only mention it because it’s amazing that I am getting better, because at one time I wasn’t sure I was going to make it. From this point on, I will continue to keep shining and taking good care of me so that I can help many others too.

Deep peace of the stars to you, my friends. I love you all!

Time Stretched Into Eternity


Time Stretched Into Eternity

We sat alone all together,
stripped of family, home and liberty
forgotten by so many,
I think they threw away the key
as Time stretched into Eternity
there at the CCDC.

Cleveland County Detention Center
Cold metal, concrete, cold air.
The night they brought me there,
I prayed to God to let me die.
But the ladies put their arms around me,
brought me tissues for my tears.
These women became my new family,
there at the CCDC.

Bright orange scrub sets
of jail clothes we were given.
Old grey scratchy woolen blankets,
such a place I’d never lived in.
Like cattle we were driven
for the food that we were given
as Time stretched into Eternity
there at the CCDC.

The main source of our misery
was that we’d been stripped
of all we held dear.
So many of us had a need to mother,
so we turned to one another,
We listened to each other’s stories,
so many stories to tell.
It stopped feeling so much like hell,
and as our prayer circle did grow
each of us began to glow
there at the CCDC.

To help ease the cold and misery
I began yoga every day.
It made the ladies laugh with glee
at the ways I would bend and stretch
and soon they asked me to show them the way
and the yoga class grew and grew
and we began to feel brand new
during my 97 days
there at the CCDC.

Twelve long years have passed
by so quickly since that time
and I am doing well,
but I know that there in CCDC
somebody’s mother, daughter, sister
is spending yet another day.
There has got to be another way
for the sisters in a world set apart –
each has a story which can break the heart
as Time is still stretching into Eternity
there at the CCDC.

Oh, the freedom of living in the land of trees after 97 days of living in the underground concrete forest was beyond bliss. My friends took me in and comforted me, gave me shelter, had collected my most precious belongings and sent me love and light while I was locked up, gave me hugs and a joyous reunion concert at our favorite local dive. The last song, dedicated to me, was called “Gotta get my baby out of jail” and one of my best friends twirled me around the dance floor and another dear friend picked me up in his arms afterwards and set me on the standing bar. It was our favorite hippie band and so many friends were there, buying me shots and spanking me playfully. After all that time locked up I decided to go out and drink for a few times to celebrate my freedom, but since I hadn’t smoked pot for 97 days, I didn’t partake at all before pleading into Drug Court since I figured it would be easier to go through the diversion program I was scheduled to plead into within sixty days of my release if I just simply abstained. And I was right. Two years and four months i was in that program, and I was on pins and needles the whole time. First there was all the shame for what I had done – selling pot while living close to a school and being the mother of so many kids – my youngest only ages 8 and 5 – was so irresponsible and made the whole community consider me a dangerous person. I didn’t see myself that way – I was so naive. Didn’t think of helping some friends find herb as a bad or dangerous thing, although I was aware it was illegal, I was raised in the counter culture – and all my parents’ friends smoked pot with them. It was their favorite pastime. It was only when they got drunk that things ever went awry, so I thought it was alcohol that was bad, not pot.

And now, thirteen years later, things are definitely changing, but not in the state I live in. Someday I will write a memoir of those 97 days which is much more detailed than this poem. I am thankful to my poetry teacher for getting me to reach inside and personalize it more.

Oh, and please forgive me. And now my daughter is in prison for her problems with addiction to hard drugs, but at least she is in the treatment plan of the place, and it is minimum security. Please forgive me for revealing this. But one thing I would like to emphasize is that both my daughter and I are good people. I got treatment for my problem, and she is getting treatment for hers. I just wish there was treatment available for those without the proper insurance which didn’t have to be so harsh and punitive. Because I am still recovering from the PTSD of the SWAT team that broke down my front door thirteen years ago. I spent years and years making up for my transgressions. Paid thousands and thousands of dollars, went to hundreds of meetings, classes, court every week, was drug tested every week up to three times a week and never failed.

Oh, and when I first began my blog I was in pain management for all the issues with my spine and fibromyalgia. I am happy to say that two weeks after my ovaries were removed I titrated myself off of that pain medication and I am off of them now!!!!!

I consider 2016 a year of tremendous change and it definitely was a year of purification, just like Kaypacha predicted it would be. Thank you all for following my blog, I love you all so much.

May 2017 bring you all many blessings of love, peace, prosperity and good health.

Om namaha shivaya. Rainbow Blessings of Love and Light.

Cleveland County Detention Center


Cleveland County Detention Center

Time stretches into Eternity,
no one knew it could last so long.
Locked down again for another’s fight
we can never right what is wrong.

Forgotten by so many
I think they’ve thrown away the key
and Time stretches into Eternity
here in the CCDC.

They’ve taken away our identity
and everything we hold dear –
some here for an infinity
some know their release is near.
How medieval is our situation
this course which we have taken –
society considers us forsaken
here in the CCDC.

But some have not forgotten
and some prayers are yet heard
none of us are wholly rotten –
being kept so long is quite absurd
here in the CCDC.

So make sure you have a plan.
Be prepared to make a final stand
for Justice, Peace, and Liberty
Here in the CCDC.

Once you’re out, be strong and true
Make sure and follow all the laws too
Because this is a place you
don’t want to return to
here in the CCDC.
No, you don’t want to come back
to a life of hell in the CCDC.

Copyright reserved @ Kamea Moonmaiden 2003

P.S. Now that I have been blogging nearly one year, I decided to reveal this part of my history from many years ago. My offence was for an herb which is now legal recreationally in eight states, with many more about to transition, while medical cannabis is legal in nearly 30 states.

So now you know. Next I will share the revised version I wrote in my Advanced Senior Creative Writing Poetry Class.

Celebrating Memories

Celebrating Memories

Today is the family memorial here in Norman for my sweet friend who recently passed away. I am one to totally embrace the Christmas spirit (not the commercialization so much, though, we keep it simple and sweet, there are just so many of us that’s the best way to go), so this year it is especially important to me to focus on prayer morning, noon and night. As many of you have most likely noticed, I don’t follow a certain path or belong to a religion. However, my faith is strong and I would say Celtic Christian would be very close to the beliefs I espouse. Nature based and completely eclectic, with the Mother and Father standing together, not patriarchal but egalitarian.

When we lose someone we love very much reality itself seems to drastically change. I have lost other friends and relatives since my dear mom passed back in 1999, but this loss is hitting very hard. My sweet friend was one of those unapologetically beautiful young women with a heart full of kindness and a good strong head on her shoulders. She took lots of adorable selfies and had beautiful tattoos decorating her arms and her back. She was smart and sensitive and generous. She opened her home to my daughters when they needed a friend. She wrote to my Alyssa as well.

We are all still in shock, but we still put up the Christmas tree. My phone broke the morning the news was on FB. Kori’s last selfie she posted to Instagram – said she was stranded in NM but at least she looked cute. She loved herself and so many of us loved her too! Maybe sometimes Creator calls angels back home early precisely because they have reached a level of self love radiating the same outwardly to all (as opposed to narcissism)?

I don’t know, but my whole family is experiencing this loss together, for our families have been friends for sixteen years. We are treasuring each other just that much more, for we are reminded of how fragile life is, and how important it is to let each other know how much we do love each other.

I know Kori will be watching over us – she was an angel on earth and will be our special angel on the other side.

When I was able to visit Alyssa a couple of weeks ago, she was under the impression that I was going to remain without a phone indefinitely. And I am the only one she can reach regularly, so she was feeling cut off. And heartbroken. But her dorm sisters flocked around her to support her, they wrote a group letter of love, healing and sympathy. So ninety young women who never even met Kori are adding their prayers for the family.

My ex husband and youngest son (who is 18 years old) went out to New Mexico for the funeral. Then last Sunday there was a benefit concert at The Deli for her. Three of my grown kids went there, and my best friend took me. So many people there. Norman is a city but it has a small town feel. Some of my kids and I have nearly 200 FB friends in common or something crazy like that. We are all connected.

Luckily, Alyssa did get my letter with my new phone number and I was able to speak to her today! That was a relief. Also, they have special Christmas snack packages families can order, so that’s a nice privilege. She was promoted again, this time to Recreational Director. She looks beautiful. Her uniform suits her quite well. She gets to send me a picture soon! Her brothers are going to visit her in January, and Nina and Loralai and I will be going very close to Christmas, but we want it to be a surprise.

So many people needing prayers, perhaps this is one reason for so many souls crossing over with each new wave of incoming energy. Because our atoms are literally made of the same molecular structure as the stars, just as we are filled with the clay of the earth, our Mother. No wonder it feels so great to walk barefoot on the grass and sit up against a tree, just soaking up that great tree energy.

So now I will do a sound healing bath and irrigate my sinuses, and perhaps all the tears I shed so far today will prepare me for being strong for my dear friends who have lost such a beautiful daughter, sister, friend.

I love you all. Love one another. Here is a picture of all four best friend girls. My daughter Alyssa is second to the end on the right and Kori is the furthest to the right. Epiphany is furthest
on the left, with Amanda next to her. My girls.

She Flew Away Too Soon

She Flew Away Too Soon


Oh, blessed was she,
my daughter’s best friend,
a heart full of kindness,
she was a walking goddess,
tiny, loyal and true,
big green eyes,
nothing could prepare
us for losing her.

Life is so fragile,
each moment to be
treasured,
all of it –
the love, the laughter,
the pain, the sorrow.

For all it took
was one fateful moment,
one terrible car crash,
and our angel grew true wings,
God called her back too soon,
and she flew away before
she even knew what happened.

I sensed her confusion
the first few days,
she knew not she wasn’t
coming back to grace
us with her beautiful smile,
but now she’s coming to us
in our dreams.

She came to one of
my sons the other night,
told him not to worry,
that on the other side,
everything is okay
and we will see her
one fateful day,
when our own time comes
to fly.

She flew away far too soon,
this daughter of my heart.
My own daughter crushed,
devastated, in shock,
in disbelief, this tragic
news I had to share,
our first visit in months.

Somehow, the article
in our local paper
surfaced in her dorm,
so she knew it to be true.
No time to say goodbye
to one so dear, so loving,
so full of life,
and spit and vinegar too,
she was spicy.
And powerful.
Born on 11/11, she was
only 27 for 17 days.

We’re so thankful
she didn’t suffer,
instead she flew away,
flew away too soon,
our little butterfly,
Kori Lynn,
we will all love
you forever,
and we all wish
to be better people,
like you,
as you fly high
above us all,
yet remain a constant
presence in our hearts
sweet, sweet young woman.

Thank you for being
such a Light on this planet,
for you touched so many hearts.
You were a devoted aunt, sister,
daughter and friend.
You truly did shine
like a rock star,
beautiful Kori Lynn.

May you spread your wings
and fly to the highest
heaven, and please keep an
eye on all of us who
will always, always love you.

Blessed be.

© Kamea Moonmaiden

On Head Standing – Overcoming Obstacles


I love Ganesh, the Hindu son of Paravati and Shiva. Since Paravati was human, when her son looked upon his father, his head burned up (there is another version where Shiva kills him, but I like this one better). Paravati was furious and demanded Shiva do something about it, so he gave him an elephant head and grew up to become quite revered. I can see why he would be the remover of obstacles – talk about overcoming obstacles! No human head, hmmmm, what shall we do? Oh! I know! An elephant’s head will do nicely for a young god. And indeed it did.

I have a little statue of Ganesh in my room. I mention this now for after going through surgery a little over two weeks ago – and a steroid injection into my sacroiliac a week before that – I am definitely overcoming obstacles. The pain wasn’t too bad – but getting back into being able to eat regularly was. And I discovered I am definitely lactose intolerant for the most part. Been avoiding gluten mostly for a while now, suspecting it was one of the culprits, and had cut out red meat, only had occasional chicken and different types of fish regularly. Lots of veggies. Legumes. Chopped or slivered nuts and nut pastes. Hummus. Only granola or other mostly healthy types of cereal. A banana every morning. Red grapes, oranges, cantalope, apples, berries – I love all fruit.

Well, before the surgery my stomach had been bothering me way more than usual for quite some time. That was one of the reasons I decided to go ahead with the surgery. And then several women close to people who are close to me developed ovarian cancer. That to me was a sign. So now I will never get ovarian cancer. At least that. But a body goes through some enormous adjustments when organs are removed. I don’t like to label the challenges I deal with, but fibromyalgia is the name of one of them, which is mostly under control. But things like surgery and extreme stress can bring it on. And it came along with a renewal of IBS which had been creeping in since August. To the point where I had to resume taking Levsin, which is an anti-spasmodic, and it wasn’t even working. In addition to that, papaya enzyme, TUMS and lots of coconut water and nectars like guava, mango, and pear.

Well, after the surgery it got so bad and my weight began to drop, which is a trigger for me because most of my adult life I have been at least twenty to thirty pounds underweight. I didn’t realize how tiny I looked. When I look back at pictures of myself, I am amazed the wind didn’t blow me away. And I was working my butt off raising a family of six kids at the time. I wasn’t very kind to my body. I ate every day – just usually skipped lunch, but if I was allergic to dairy and gluten and red meat and those were the things I was cooking for my kids – I wasn’t absorbing many nutrients. Malabsorption was going on for sure. That and having been struck by lightning through the telephone at the age of 18, along with heredity and bad posture and smoking cigarettes (I quit three and a half years ago) all contributed to the stomach and spine problems.

But I am not working on beating myself up, did that enough already. It is what it is, and had become a tremendous obstacle. Then I decided to follow the example of a fellow blogger who has recovered from severe anorexia and now is on a vegan and gluten free diet. I wasn’t sure where to begin, so I went and bought kombucha, some naked green juice (a huge bottle), salad stuff, coconut water, gluten free crackers and an organic gluten free vegan green chile enchilada meal by Annie. I’ve been into those little frozen dinners for a quick treat when too tired to cook after doing the big job of shopping, bringing the groceries up the steep concrete slab stairs to my little flat and putting them away.

Well. My stomach is doing MUCH better after five days of going dairy free. My appetite is improving, my energy level is improving. I have done yoga three times during those five days and yesterday was able to stand on my head for the first time in ten years! And this is with a failed neck surgery at C6-7 – or maybe I have a new disk by now. Anything is possible. If I don’t yet, with my stem cell regeneration quantum healing visualization meditations, I am going to grow new disks, mark my words. And some day have an MRI to prove that this indeed did happen. I didn’t think I would ever ever stand on my head again. And I held the pose for at least 30 seconds. My 16 year old homeschooling grandson was practicing with me. We both became quite excited!

And then later on I gave an hour and a half hot stone massage. And my client will be back in two weeks. She left euphoric, and that is definitely the goal.

I have also begun to turn my wi-fi off at night and make sure my phone is either off or on airplane mode. no EMFs bombarding me while I sleep. And I have been sleeping much better. Other than the hot flashes. Which won’t last forever.

I won’t even mention any details about the upcoming shadow election other than the fact that most people are in a frenzied state of emotion can hit an empath like me like a ton of bricks. So today I am grounding and starting slowly, still have some healing to do. And the sun is shining, the recently full moon in Aries is now waning in Taurus and energies are smoothing out.

This woman is very thankful to be healing so well. And will listen to my body, be oh so gentle with it when it asks me to – and push it further when it’s willing and able – and finding the balance between the two is key.

Oh, and I have been following the Water Protectors at Sacred Stone camp in North Dakota. The Standing Rock Sioux are amazing – as is the fact that over 250 tribes have sent people to stand in solidarity – people from all over the world are gathering!!!!! I watched a water blessing ceremony – offering blessed water to the police – after smudging them – they seemed so afraid – but I could tell that deep in their hearts they were saying, “At last! AT LAST!”

For our open hearts and minds are the rainbow bridge connecting heaven and earth – and this beautiful nonviolent revolution – it is spreading – everywhere. And it begins within each and every one of us. And if spam is seen declaring the Water Protectors to be violent, know that those are plants – actors – and cannot and will not deter from the sacred power of prayer, the power of unconditional love, of sacrifice for the planet, for water, for our future generations. For this time, the people will prevail. The world is watching and GAIA has all of us in her arms. And we are healing.

I’m going to go through my winter clothes and see what I can send to the people who are staying through the winter there. For it gets very very cold there! I am loving watching the livestreams on FB, it is almost like being there. Oh, and FB keeps trying to block and censor these videos and posts. Or at least partially do so. But we are keeping them coming. We are the new media. I haven’t had regular television for a couple years, but even then it was for my son so he could watch football. I rarely paid attention to it. Haven’t much since way back in 2000 other than some series on Netflix, but at least that way there aren’t any commercials. Save us from the commercials! Forgive me for rambling, so much is going on in the world right now. I do read about it all even though I don’t watch t.v. I do pray for the people in Haiti. I pray for the people in Syria. I pray for the people in America. I pray for all the people in the world, especially those who are hungry, homeless, oppressed, or living in war torn communities. I believe in the power of the people.

Praying for peace. Resting a bit extra. Drinking lots of water and coconut water too. Choosing life over death – and getting stronger every day! Also have less pain than in over a year! That’s fantastic as well. At one point in time didn’t think giving massages part time would ever be an option again. So glad that wasn’t true!

My cats have become my sentries. They have decided that it’s their job to guard me whenever I am resting. My mama cat Mila, who is nine years old, has to be on my lap whenever I am sitting. They are great guardians. Feeling very blessed. Just missing cheese. Instead of butter I am using coconut oil or olive oil and that’s working great. But haven’t gotten over missing cheese yet.

 

 

 

 

Update From Alyssa

Update From Alyssa


I just talked to my sweet daughter, and she is very happy that I wish to share her letter with the world, for she has grown so much and is going through tremendous transformation at this time. And she wants her family to know she is so sorry about her relapse. And that the money spent in sending her to Vista Taos last year for a month and the year before for a month was not spent in vain! She did learn tremendous coping skills but needed longer treatment so she could work on her issues from the inside out and have a solid structure for living her life before she gets back out here with all the rest of us. I love her so much! Her letter made me cry. Many times. Blessings of love to you all.

Dearest Mama,

I’m grateful for the letter and pics you sent. Reminds me I have a life outside this fence. Right now I pretend this is my home and these are my sisters so I don’t go crazy, or maybe that means I am going crazy already – lol!  I’m doing good though, I have lost 5 lb. I can tell it’s all from my midsection – no love handles – flat tummy. My arms are getting stronger too – I can do workouts that used to be much harder more easily now. But honestly I kinda miss the little extra weight. I’ll be able to get some back when I can finally eat commissary. I’ll be able to eat by Halloween – my birthday! (Her birthday is El Dia de los Muertos – November 2 – and she will be 27).

First I have to march out. Marching out is basically learning all the movements and drills of ceremony for marching. It’s harder than it sounds. We have to memorize a page and a half verbatim first – which I already did. Next I have to act as Platoon Leader and lead the platoon in marching. I’m getting the hang of it all, though. (In fact, she won an award for her marching already!) When I said I was gonna come here and kick some butt so I could go home, I was not playin’.

So I’ll be writing more since I’ll be getting pens and paper of my own tomorrow. I’ve been out for over a month. I got a certificate from my baptism. It came with a little bookmark that says what the preacher said as I emerged from the water. It’s supposed to be God speaking. It’s pretty cool. Anyhoo, it’s already been a blessing for me and I figure I should pass it on to you. 🙂 I know you’ll take good care of it! 🙂

I’ve been trying my best to create new waves of thought. Most of what we think is recycled from yesterdaty. In The Way of the Spiritual Warrior there’s this really profound quote: “There is no need to search, achievement leads to nowhere. It makes no difference at all so just be happy now! Love is the only reality for the world, because it is all One, you see. And the only laws are paradox, humor and change. There is no problem, never was and never will be. Release your struggle, let go of your mind, throw away your concerns, and relax into the world. No need to resist life, just do your best. Open your eyes and see that you are far more than you imagine. You are the world, you are the universe, you are yourself and everyone else, too! It’s all the marvelous Prayer of God. Wake up, regain your humor. Don’t worry, you are already free! ”

Every moment is a choice. When I get sad or lonely I choose to remind myself of all the good things I still have left in my life. I have so much to be thankful for!  The two things that make me sad are how much I miss you and the family, and Brian’s broken promises and empty words! I don’t think he’ll ever comprehend what constitutes a loving partner. He would have to go waaay above and beyond for me to even consider getting back with him and even then I would still have my reservations about “us.” “US?” If there ever was an “us.” I kinda feel like his head’s so far up his own ass that he doesn’t know how to treat people. Maybe he will remove his head from there someday. Hopefully soon, cuz the lack of oxygen up there obviously isn’t doing his brain any justice. LOL!

I’m thankful for my sense of humor, any humor really. I’m usually a very cheerful person about 95% of the time. Other things I’m thankful for – inside and out there: My beautiful, amazing, unique family, this experience, my (and your) good genes, new friends, new dreams, new outlook, new values, new priorities, new insight, new attitude, change, transformation, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, laughter, taste buds, sleep, exercise, cool clothes, great taste in music, stars – just to name a few . . .

I can’t wait to see you! Anytime I think about seeing any of y’all I get choked up.

xoxoxo Love, Alyssa Micaela Sunshine Varela

P.S. Will you update me on what’s happening in the world? I’ve got no way of knowing.