Bring It!

Bring It!

Four weeks ago, I was still in my little flat on stilts, had just found this townhome I am living in now, my first husband had just passed away, had the bilateral sacroiliac injections, and the construction workers began to strip the siding off the balcony, requiring me to dismantle my beloved morning glories and balcony garden.

On a Thursday night that fateful week in October, we had tornado weather here in Oklahoma. When the sirens went off, at first I thought about taking shelter. But my son Adam was quite ill and said he wasn’t moving, and my yogi son was visiting that night, had helped pack some of my mountains of books for me.

I also had four cats with me and only one cat carrier, and could not fathom leaving them.

Soooo, instead of seeking shelter from the storm, I went out on the balcony and faced it head on.

Lo and behold, a tornado was headed straight towards us. I looked that tornado in the face (had just manifested all the money I needed to move in and also to pay my water bill), filled my heart with pure Christ light, and fearlessly shouted, “Bring it!” And it swerved east right at Highway 9, about 1/2 mile south of me. Straight shot.

The unfolding of many last minute miracles along with daily challenges and so much hard work, but all wrapped up in the long arms of Love despite appearances of said challenges, has been a journey of forgiveness and leaps forward in my own growth has occurred!

My wings are here at last, and I know I can sustain this magic, we all can.

It’s now over a year since I was in pain management, and despite the enormous physical challenge of moving out of what I now see was a sort of punishment apartment, (even though I did turn it into a sanctuary, and my balcony garden was beautiful), I have managed to pace myself most days, for when I don’t, this body temple certainly lets me know pretty quickly!

My message for this Tuesday full of Grace, is to know that even if there is only a tiny part of you still healthy and strong, you can heal yourself. There are many paths and many methods, but please don’t put all your faith in any one person (a doctor, for example), or healing method. If someone gives you a negative prognosis or prediction, don’t believe it. Look inside for the Truth.

For all the healing in all the world is right here and right now, in this breath and this heartbeat. When we relax into ourselves, let go of the trauma of the past and stop worrying about the future, we walk in Grace.

Like Jesus said, “My Peace I giveth to you.”

That Peace which passeth understanding. It is not the understanding of this world. For things are never as they seem, my friends, never truly as they seem.

This world of Maya, illusion, the shadowy parts of ourselves showing through intensely right now, bringing secrets to light, provides us ample opportunity to complete this deep, deep stage of our individual and collective journeys.

As Gerold Janpowlski says, “Love is letting go of fear.”

Just breathe. And give thanks.

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The Journey Inwards

The Journey Inwards

Every day brings new opportunities for fresh starts. No matter who you are or what your challenges may be, there is a reason for you to be here. You are a miracle. And it’s by noticing the every day miracles around you which increases the Love in the Universe. Love is letting go of fear, our greatest obstacle and from which the most challenging obstacles of darker emotions and feelings arise.

The journey inwards is not an easy one. Many saints have written about the dark night of the soul, or the battle with the dragon. Teachers can only take us to the doorway of the inner labyrinth, but finding the center of the maze and taming our own inner dragon is a solo journey. The quest which must be completed in order to properly use the Force, which we are each given.

Love your self unconditionally, celebrate your uniqueness in this great mosaic tapestry of life. When your journey gets tough and there are not like minded souls around you, seek comfort in Nature. Let Her warm arms comfort you with Her beauty, Her strength and resilience, Her oceans, streams and rivers, Her trees, plants and flowers, her living creatures great and small. See the sparkle in the eyes of the children, and soon you will see that same sparkle in your own eyes, and in the eyes of those around you.

Never let the Light go out in your eyes. Keep shining, my friends, keep shining.

My Miracle Boy

My Miracle Boy


Twenty two years ago today, my labor finally truly began for the birth of my son Nicolas. He was over ten days post dates and I didn’t want an induction or another cesarean, which my daughter Alyssa, baby #4, was born by. A dear friend offered to help me stay at home as long as possible to prevent induction. I did a lot of research and lots of birthing affirmations, like “My body knows how to create a perfect, healthy baby and I will let it.” And, “My body knows how to give birth normally and I will let it.”

After bumpy road rides and some other recommended forms of self induction, my contractions finally began right about 2:00 p.m. that day. I called my friend and we began walking around the block. Alternating with sitting outside on the back patio, enjoying the weather which had become cooler finally as a thunderstorm was coming on in.

About 8:00 p.m. the storm got very close and a clap of thunder struck, breaking my waters. Now for me, every birth became longer and more difficult rather than more quickly and easier. Well, all my babies were big, ranging from 8-10 pounds.

We decided to get to the hospital at that time, for there was some meconium in the water. I labored all night long, walking up and down the halls as long as I could, and sneaking juice and crackers whenever the nurses weren’t in the room.

By about 7:00 o’clock in the morning, my doctor came to check me and decided to start IV fluids. A couple hours later they decided to start me on Pitocin. At that point I had been in so much pain for over 24 hours I asked for an epidural, even though I had hoped to have a completely natural birth.

So they did, and I dozed off for quite while. Woke to the urge to push and called the nurse, who checked me and probably figured it would take me hours to push since I had had an epidural. I pushed once and my baby’s head began to crown. So the nurse held his head back for ten minutes until the doctor arrived. Not my doctor, who had agreed to go with my birthing plan, but a doctor I had never meant before. I pushed twice and he was born, experiencing what is called a precipitous birth.

I told the doctor not to cut the life giving cord which would provide him with oxygen while he adjusted to living outside the womb, and he said in a thick Okie accent, “That’s not the way we do it with meconium.” And so he cut the cord and I swear if I had been able to move my legs I would have kicked his hands away. Then they handed my baby to an attendant, who deep suctioned him before giving him a chance to breathe. So during that process, he inhaled meconium and both his lungs burst. And they didn’t notice a thing was wrong with him while they washed him up and checked him out before giving him to me to nurse.

I tried to nurse but he couldn’t. He was breathing but would just back away and I could sense he was distressed, so I asked them to come check him out again. They took him back to the nursery and checked him out again for about twenty minutes and brought him back to me. By this point, he was already beginning to struggle to breathe, and there was no way he was going to be able to nurse. He was fighting for his life. So this time I called them and was adamant that he be checked out more thoroughly immediately, sensing this was a life threatening emergency.

They took him away and wouldn’t talk to me for hours. Every time I called, the only thing they would say was that he was very sick.

My daughter Nina drove the rest of the kids home and lit a candle and prayed, asking God for a sign that her new baby brother was going to be alright. Then she went in the back yard and a thousand birds flew by. And the day before he was born a Monarch butterfly landed on my belly and stayed there (as I sat resting on the patio behind my house in the warm sun) for about half an hour.

Those were both signs from the Heavenly realm. Signs that angels are watching over us, and especially immediately praying for intervention for a close loved one.

It wasn’t until about midnight that the doctor who saved Nick’s life came in and told us what was going on. They had to give him a chest tube twice and when that didn’t work, on a respirator. He also developed hospital acquired Group B strep septicemia, which they found out the next day. It not only got into his blood, it was in his respiratory and urinary systems. So they had him on all kinds of tubes and was strapped down because he kept yanking them out. My baby boy was a true fighter.

They told us not to touch him for it would make him excited but I insisted I must, knowing a mother’s touch can one of the most healing things for a newborn baby. They told me that was okay as long as I didn’t move my hand. So I held my hand on his little arm, or held it on his chest and looked into his hazel eyes and he looked back at me, and his eyes were clear and bright even though they had him sedated so as to not struggle so much and then another medicine to maintain his blood pressure. He told me without words not to worry, not to be afraid, that he would be okay.

His father was very supportive, as was my doctor, who arranged for me to be able to stay in the hospital for three whole days, due to the circumstances. So we stayed with Nick as much as possible, praying the whole time, and then would go to my room where I used a double Medela pump to provide colostrum for my baby. Then we would go to the chapel and weep and pray.

They told us to prepare ourselves for the worst. Fifty percent of babies who only had the Strep died, they said. And Nick was working on healing his lungs. They said the best case scenario would be that he would need to be on a respirator for at least a month.

So we prayed more, our families joining in. And at the end of his third day of life, his father’s sister and husband who is a pastor and their whole congregation were praying for Nick at the same time my mom and a spiritual group of friends were doing the same – one group in Indiana, my mom’s group in Los Angeles. Us in the middle. And right after we got back from the chapel, for we had been praying at that time too, not knowing about the timing of these serendipitous groups of people praying for our son, the nurse came running down to tell us Nicolas was breathing against the respirator, and she had already begun to turn it down. She was so joyous and we burst into tears and rushed to the nursery. His eyes had brightened even more, and we were told we could hold him the next day.

We had to go home that night, but by 5:00 a.m. I was asking if I could return to be with my baby.

The nurses loved us at that point and said yes. And there he was, respirator off, with a little hood for oxygen over him, NG tube pulled out too!

We were both able to hold him that day, and I was able to rock him and give him a bottle of my very own amazing colostrum. And the next day, I was able to finally nurse him. And my milk was already in, thanks to the powerful double Medela pump.

Next time the NICU doctor checked him, I told her we had prayed for a miracle, and she replied, “Well, it certainly worked! He is doing very well, a beautiful baby boy. He’s a fighter.” And she beamed at us.

He was transferred to the regular nursery the next day, but they kept him until he was 9 days old, a joyous day of returning home with our new baby finally. For we had pretty much lived up at the hospital with him until we could take him home.

And now he is an amazing, strong, loving, creative young man, about to turn 22 years old. Out of all of my six kids, only went through this one scary ordeal which turned into a miracle. And even though every baby is a miracle and I love all mine with all my heart, I will always call Nick Nixta Scheid my miracle boy.

Kaypacha’s Astrology For The Soul, September 21, 2017


This week Kaypacha talks at us from the majestic peaks of Machu Picchu, Peru – such a gorgeous place! This wasn’t uploaded til early this morning because I did check last night – it must be a challenge with all his travelling and also being up in such a remote location at such a high altitude! Although, there are many people there, but he finds a beautiful private spot by a stream to tell us what the alignment of the planets means for us collectively, after giving us a wondrous view of the ruins.

This is a special time in the course of history. Jupiter is coming out of the womb after it retrogrades into Virgo before emerging into Scorpio on October 10. This correlates with Revelations 12 where it describes a woman crowned with 12 stars giving birth. Jupiter will be reborn into the transformational sign of Scorpio and assist us with our deep inner shadow work in the upcoming year. Venus, Mercury and Mars complete the 12 stars.

This is a funky time. Mercury in Virgo is still opposite Neptune in Pisces. Mars is coming in to oppose Neptune as well. The Sun is in opposition to Chiron. There is a lot going on. The Moon is going into Scorpio today, Friday the 23.

(And Happy Autumnal Equinox, my friends!)

Also, the Sun moves into Libra today. Sunday Mars in Virgo will be in direct opposition to Neptune in Pisces. Monday Mercury is squaring Saturn in Sagittarius. Jupiter has been in opposition to Uranus all year while moving forward til now, after direct pass and a short retrograde period, it will move into direct opposition before its final pass and entrance into Scorpio.

Tuesday the Moon will be in Sagittarius in exact conjunct with Black Moon Lilith and Saturn. THe Sun is making a T-square to Black Moon Lilith and Chiron and loosely Saturn.

Next week Mercury comes up and does the same thing. These are butt kicking aspects! Even Kaypacha’s butt is being kicked, and he is a master teacher. But still human like the rest of us.

Mars represents the will and Mercury our thoughts and ego – in Virgo this propels us to analyze, make perfect according to my will, what I think is perfect and needs to be fixed, but Neptune comes along, just like a hurricane, an earthquake, a tidal wave, and shakes things up.

Neptune is magic, great mystery – and we are never going to figure it out – we are just tiny specks in the great cosmos, (even though at the same each of us contains the entire cosmos within us). Neptune in Pisces encourages us to listen to the Spirits of the earth, to get out in Nature, speak, listen, lay out under the starry night sky and watch shooting stars. When we really see what’s going on with Nature, it can be so humbling.

Saturn moves into Capricorn on 12/20, so we are moving from fire and air into earth and water. Things are going to get heavy. There are deep, dark mysteries coming to the surface. Freud called it the unconscious, while Jung called it the collective unconscious. (I personally relate a great deal more to Carl Jung and his thoughts on archetypal patterns in the collective psyches of humanity).

Many of us may find ourselves either sensing or seeing multidimensional beings, spirits, faeries, and noticing our interconnectedness with all of Nature.

When we analyze, there are no reasons, only intentions. We each have primary soul intentions and lessons we came here to learn. Trauma, crisis, betrayal, disaster, loss of house, love, relationships – all these take us down the rabbit hole. It is like the matrix getting kicked out of the matrix. We can lose our identity, not know what to do, go through periods of no clarity or light. We have to let go and lose it and then we are reborn.

This time of mystery is very educational. A time where we can see teh hand of God, the mind of Creator, the will of Source. It’s essential to surrender when we have no choice, or the body may give out, or there it may feel like there is no more left to give, but there is! Grace, redemption, power greater than our conscious ego has a plan for us. Even Gaia shrinks down and is humbled by the Great Mystery.

Pay attention to dreams, images, bodily sensations, insomnia – and drink lots of water, get rest when the body calls for it.

Virgo in the 6th house is all about routine, while Neptune and Chiron oppose this (with my Moon in Pisces, no wonder routine is hard for me, I am more about spontaneity when the appointments are met, and the work is done).

Even though Chiron and Pluto are the tiniest planets, they represent the power to die and resurrect. So now is the time to be witness to ourselves. Pay attention – what is the message Spirit is giving here? There is a Divine will acting in our lives. We focus on ourselves, money, sex, material things, etc., which all make us distracted and we have to wake up and look beneath the surface.

There are powerful forces acting on the planet. We can below to the club. We can become shamans and magicians that uses these forces and subtle energies and delve into the deeper mysteries and purpose of life (or remember that we already are and that is why we returned to Gaia at this pivotal time in history). This is where we really become healer and master of our own lives.

Scorpio represents mastery. Water signs take ego out, evolve feelings. Pay attention to them and to the gut and listen, make the necessary changes and do the work.

This week’s mantra: As the old order dissolves into chaos
as a prerequisite for the new birth,
I see Spirit’s intentional restructuring Mother Earth.
These intense events show us the workings of our soul
and really are what are here to know, master, and ultimately
heal.

These intense events teach us to look at the footprints, follow those footprints and hunt for the mystery.

Namaste. Aloha. So. Much. Love.

(Finally able to type up a summary of my favorite astrologer’s weekly Pele Report – all these aspects have been kicking my butt in a major way, but I am strong and I am whole, and I am here for a reason, just like each of us, so am giving myself permission to heal and to blog, because even typing up another’s words and adding a few asides is very healing for me. I used to be a medical transcriptionist. Transcribing Kaypacha – although not word for word – is much more gratifying even though it’s just a service of love).

Rainbow Blessings of Love and Light, my friends. Blessed be.

Brother Sun, Sister Moon

Brother Sun, Sister Moon

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0069824/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Following my morning meditation with my balcony garden and morning glories, I had a conversation on FB about falling in love with God. I thought of Rumi, who frequently referred to God as the Lover.

I have a wonderful book called Love Poems To God with poetry by Rumi,, Rabia, Mira, Hafiz, Kabir, St. Catherine of Siena, St. Theresa of Avila, Meister Eckhart And St. Francis I’d Assisi. Which reminded me of one of my all time favorite movies which my parents took me to the drive in to see back in the Seventies.

And here it is, in case you haven’t seen it and may be interested. Franco Zeffirelli is the director, and his version of Romeo and Juliet is another of my all time favorite movies.

And also here is a picture of my morning glories. And while being so busy I will post the Kaypacha summary every other week, to correspond with new moons and full moons and of course eclipses and equinoxes and wand solstices.

Anyway, we have entered the Lion’s Gate until August 8, incoming energies are intense and Venus in Cancer opposite the Galactic Center is affecting us all. Keep your seatbelts fastened, take a day off from the news, or at least most of the day, connect with Nature, drink lots of water get some kind of exercise, and look for the truth within, for all the answers are within. As without so within. And vice versa.

A mantra I enjoy and learned from Rainbow people goes like this, “I will be gentle with myself, I will take care of myself. I am a Child of the Universe. Being born every moment.”

We are birthing ourselves into a higher expression, a higher frequency than we ever have before. Those resisting these incoming energies demonstrate great confusion and other signs of mental illness as they wish to continue a path of destruction and war. But we are many, and we are one human family, and we know we must take care of ourselves, each other and our planet. It’s not our differences that matter. It’s the many ways we are alike.

Namaste, my friends. A’ho Mitakuye Oyasin. Ubuntu.

We are a global family.

Golden Keys in Children’s Literature

Golden Keys in Children’s Literature

Pondering on the dream I had almost two years ago, about all the masters, saints, avatars, wise ones, earth angels and boddhisatvas were gathered on a high flat mountain plateau like the one in Taos. The air itself was golden and a loud voice declared, “Ho, Dragon Slayers. The time has come to cease slaying the Dragon. You are all now to be Dragon Tamers. And all the keys will be found in the ancient texts, myths, holy books,songs and stories of all times.

For we are the writers of this epic human story, and it is huge. The whole Universe has been joyously awaiting our ascension into the Golden Age.

Even children’s books and fairy tales hold the keys. The Chronicles of Narnia give keys to dealing with planetary transformation, and also sacrifice, overcoming the deep dark secrets of magic through innocence and surrender, only to achieve resurrection, overturning the ancient dark secrets with the older magic of LOVE. Aslan, for C.S. Lewis, represents Jesus Christ. But also God, the creator of Narnia, and also providing the doorway into the new world when corruption brings Narnia to its demise. And the paradise he takes Lucy, Edmund, Peter and Susan is far more real and beautiful than either Narnia or Earth could ever be. “Farther up and further in!” Asian joyously sings as he leads his beloved children to their true home. Of course all their loved ones are there, for they have crossed over the rainbow bridge through a dirty stable door. Things are not always as they seem. The false prophet, an ape disguised as Aslan, is the one who brought war and corruption across the land. Perhaps Lewis was also prophetic, for there certainly are familiar themes in American politics (and other countries as well) going on today.

The two other books coming to my mind currently, containing golden keys to taming the Dragon are Heidi and The Secret Garden. Both stories emphasize the healing power of Nature. Both Heidi and Mary Collins from The Secret Garden lose their mothers at an early age. Mary also loses her father. Both are sent to live with relatives. Both have issues at first with their new homes, but after spending time out in Nature, each with a friend who guides them (Peter the goat herd in Heidi, and Dickon, the animal and nature loving brother of Martha, Mary’s nurse maid in The Secret Garden).

And they both have cousins who are crippled. Well to do children who are given everything their doctors and nurses and busy, mostly absent fathers can think of, except fresh air, sunshine and nature. Both are motherless as well. In both stories the heroines undergo deep personal transformation and healing, trials and tribulations, and after Nature teaches them her secrets, they share this golden key with their crippled cousins. Mary Collins’ cousin is Colin, Heidi’s cousin is Clara.

It is upon taking these children outside, Colin to the Secret Garden, and Clara to the Swiss Alps where Heidi returns to live with her beloved and troubled grandfather, that they both achieve true healing, within and without, and learn to walk again. And while Heidi and Mary are the facilitators and Nature the golden key, the other golden key is within each of them and each of us.

Which leads me to a scene in The Secret Garden where Mary and Colin are talking about the Universe. And Colin tells her about a holy man, one so holy that if one should be blessed to look into his mouth, one would see the whole universe. Mary argues with him about this idea, declaring it illogical, and Colin says it doesn’t have to make sense.

I feel Frances Hodges Burnett and Johanna Spyri were pointing out the golden keys to healing in these magical tales, just as Lewis was in the Narnia tales, for meditation can take us to other realms within.

As above, so below. As without, so within.

It is clearly evident this Mars and Mercury conjunct in Cancer along with the Sun opposing Pluto in Capricorn is causing some extreme behavior (and bizarre, and horrific) on the global scene, but at the same time people are praying, people are healing, people are gathering together and rising up for human rights and for our only planet.

There’s been times when I fell into despair and couldn’t get out of bed much due to many challenging health issues and depression (listing them anymore is claiming them and am done with that as best as possible). And then when I began spending more time outside, doing yoga, planting herbs for my cooking, coloring mandalas, meditating and going to my own inner sun did I begin to truly heal on a deep cellular level.

And we all are healing. We are each little holograms of the Universe, and we must be like hollow bones and keep our vessels pure.

Namaste, my friends. Blessed be.

Kaypacha’s Astrology For The Soul, May 26, 2017


This week’s Pele Report comes to us from a beautiful solitary lake, filmed and uploaded on Wednesday, May 24, as the Moon was in Taurus and moving slowly towards the New Moon in Gemini yesterday, May 25. The Sun is in Gemini, opposite Black Moon Lilith who is in Sagittarius. Venus in Aries is in square to Pluto. Mars is opposite Saturn as well, creating lots of contradictions yet again.

As the Moon goes through Gemini she is going to trine Jupiter, square Neptune, sextile Venus, conjunct Mars, opposite Saturn, and sextile Uranus – big day today, Friday!

On Sunday, She is going into Cancer, and she will square Jupiter, trine Neptune, sextile Mercury, opposte Pluto, square Uranus – these huge aspects will have our emotional bodies activated and tweaked, so it’s important to be mindful.

Chiron is still in Pisces – all of these aspects related to living in the paradox and going through a time of chaos in many people’s lives.

The path of the soul is like a wave. The individual soul emerges like a wave out of the ocean. It individuates and separates – north node of the Moon in Leo contributes to this huge variety of infinite potentials – each of us unique flowers, blooming in our own individual way.

Kaypacha goes on to expound upon duality in this world and the fear of diversity which contributes to such a huge amount of the conflict today. So even if we feel separate or outside of the unity of oneness, we go beyond the ego, the wave crashes, and the drop of water returns to the ocean of oneness.

Reincarnation gives us opportunity after opportunity to go through this individuation process and return to oneness. We come out of the black nothingness (absence of color) in the void – and travel towards the white light of oneness (white being the combination of all colors). He proceeds with an analogy of our differences and how we label ourselves using colors – I am yellow and you are blue but I want everyone to be yellow like me. It is this line of reasoning which leads to all wars.

Just as Jonathon Livingston Seagull breaks away from the flock, we need the contrast to see why we are different. It is because of this we have different religions, different political groups, belief systems, cultures (just what my poem Paradoxes is about). It is time to celebrate our diversity, for we are moving beyond duality as we enter the Age of Aquarius – and an age lasts two thousand years! We are moving into a time of love and compassion, but it takes many lifetimes.

I am simplifying here, BTW. Gemini with the left brain tries to take Pisces and Sagittarius and limit them. Venus square Pluto is coming up to join Eres, Goddess of Discord. Where would we be without discord? Even Eres throws an apple between the three goddesses – Aphrodite, Athena and Hera, and says, “For the fairest.” This creates so much discord and jealousy, for each of them wishes to be the one. And Lilith, as a serpent, brought the apple to Eve in order to experience discord. This all a necessary part of the revolutionary process. It does not need to result in violence, but instead can lead towards loving compassion and unity.

It’s important to not be pulled into polarity but stay in that truth, that beautiful place where we are true to ourselves. Love goes beyond polarity and leads us to the peace which passes understanding and accepting of all the craziness going on. The younger souls are trying to find themselves through the most extreme methods.

This week’s mantra: My deepest true identity is emerging from within. No longer defined by right or wrong, incapable of sin.

Sin has its Latin roots in error (a theology professor back in college explained it as falling short of our divine potential).

We are all moving out of this place of sin and will ultimately realize that each of us is here for a reason, there doesn’t have to be a right or wrong way to be – this is the New Paradigm. And as this is such a lengthy process, have mercy on yourselves! And our grandchildren will inherit the planet we plant the seeds for now, and they will know a world of peace.

Kaypacha’s farewell: May you find your true colors. Namaste. Aloha. So. Much. Love.

Kamea’s farewell: Rainbow Blessings. A’ho Mitakuye Oyason.