Today has been a vast improvement over the last five days. Thank God. And it is the last day of being 53. It’s super exciting to this Moonmaiden that we are having this month’s full moon on my birthday – and my age reduces to a 9, the same as this year, 2016. Plus with the 19 (without reducing because, he, 9 is a magical number), there is a triple magical number coming into play, so this year holds great portent.
Great time for being creative!
Got some awesome groceries – tonight it’s Ahi tuna, sweet potato and broccoli. Hopefully progress back to my daily salad tomorrow. Learning to cook for just me certain days that my nest is empty is a challenge, something not anticipated.
After raising my own kids and the extra ones I took in along the way, and the years I helped care for my younger siblings, I have spent at least 51 years of my life helping care for others. Yes, since the age of 3, for there were times my mom’s illness prevented her from getting it of bed. Not usually, but sometimes.
One of my aunts told me she came to visit one day and I had spilled an entire gallon of milk on the kitchen floor. My sister must have been about six months old and I was trying to prepare a bottle all by myself.
And since I couldn’t clean all that milk up by myself, I sat down Om the floor and cried. My sister and were sitting on the floor crying when my aunt arrived.
Talk about crying over spilled milk!
But anyways, maybe there’s a connection to that and to anxiety. And it has been over three months since discontinuing the anxiety medicine. And now my visualizations turn on automatically when I start to feel stressed (not always, sometimes I break down and cry, but that’s a good thing when it’s once in a while – no more stuffing of feelings). I visualize those protection roses in front of my aura and start grounding myself. This helps a lot with social anxiety. So does holding on to a crystal and a chunk of hematite. Tons of other stones, but for venturing into places like Wal-Mart where there is a lot of frenetic energy.
Oh, and with all this aura repair work and chakra balancing, I’m not feeling as open and raw. There is such a thing as being too empathetic. To the point of it being painful. With sealing up the cracks, dents and actual rents in the aura, this connection with all others is still acknowledged and felt, but not to the point of extreme anymore. I didn’t realize I was letting my aura go all over the place!
At least I found out now. It feels certain that God led me to Julie Renee of Quantum Healing, Jennifer McLean of Spontaneous Transformation Techniques, also back to Jill Marie of Serenity Vibrations simultaneously the past few months for a reason.
Because I am moving forward with this personal self healing program day by day and having more improvement than in a very long time. Learning to take personal responsibility for my own joy and happiness. Giving myself permission to forgive myself for all my past errors and fully love myself. To not sell myself short or settle out of fear of being alone. To know we are never truly alone. So I have to learn to be okay with sacred solitude, too. Sometimes I treasure that so much. Other times not so much. Lol.
Anyway, feeling incredibly thankful to be getting better, bit by bit, and for having ventured into the blogosphere finally! I reached out 100 wordpress followers to go with my 1,160 FB and 445 or so Twitter followers, and just making myself feel good now, but it’s a start, and I gotta start somewhere, right?
Thanks to all of you who are following me! I am going to at least three or four or your sites a day, doing my best to learn how to swim in this realm.
Rainbow Blessings of the upcoming Blessings Moon which is first in Capricorn, then void of course for fours, then in Aquarius! It’s a crazy cool one, folks, and I am happy to be so connected to it.