The Bars Upon This Window

The bars upon this window
are not what they seem to be
for in this world of illusion
we can never not be free.

It’s in the land of Dreams
where next to my heart you be
and the jailer and the jailed one
will set each other free.

It’s in the land of Dreams
where angels sing above the sea
where masters reign,
and loved ones gone,
live on in Eternity.

The bars upon this window
are not what seem to be.
They cannot cage the human heart,
they cannot keep loved ones apart,
for in Reality
We are ALL ONE,
You see?

And the jailer and the jailed one
will set each other free.

So look out through this window
and see a glimpse of the pure heart.
What strange truth does Beauty show
in this world set apart?

That NOTHING is as it seems to be –
the bars upon this window
can really set us free
for we are not mere bodies
and our spirits soar
through the Heavens once more
in God’s reality.

And the jailer and jailed one
always set each other free
deep in our hearts
where we all hold
the secret key,
the key which breaks
down the bars,
builds the Rainbow Bridge
of human hearts
letting us know once more
that we are all just outside
Heaven’s door –
And we are all
Always FREE.

Om Namaha Shivaya

@Kamea Moonmaiden


Thursday Musings

Thursday Musings

It was a beautiful sunny day here in Oklahoma and I was unexpectedly blessed to spend it with my boyfriend. We did a lot of laundry and a bit of grocery shopping, then watched a couple of movies, including “Chocolat” which I hadn’t actually seen in its entirety before. What a great movie! My daughter Nina got off work early, so I only had granddaughter Loralai, whom I regularly babysit, for a couple of hours. She looks like a fairy today, due to wearing a stylish pink tutu and the elegant French braid her mom. gave her.

I was offline all day yesterday because I did way too much heavy housework, which briught on some rough moments. The overdoing while forgetting to listen to my body’s signals is one of my biggest challenges, but I have been getting lots of shadow work done, shining light on my shadow while deeply meditating, and as it slowly dissipates, it too becomes light. It’s impossible to pretend we have no shadow and that everything is love and light, for this only results in stuffing our emotions, creating blocks. Healing is definitely an ongoing process. And this is the perfect time with our planets lining up, and the year we live in according to astrology and numerology for this important work, which must be done both individually and globally.

This year of purification, 2016, also happens to simplify to the number 9, which is such a magical number that the Beatles wrote a song about it – Revolution Number Nine for those who haven’t listened to The White Album. Every number you add to nine remains the same after being simplified, like 9 + 2 = 11, 1 + 1 = 2, and henceforth. And every number you multiply times nine simplifies to a 9; 9 x 5 = 45, 4 + 5 = 9 and on and on. These properties are unique to nine alone. It’s also the number of Love, which is so helpful while we are clearing ourselves on every level, while also focusing and working on clearing and clearing up the planet. There’s a lot of important and hard work ahead of us to clean the water, fire, earth and air. There will be cleansing of the major rivers this Spring, and I will make sure to share the details about when and where volunteers are needed.

There are many ways to clear the four elements in your own aura and home – crystals, singing bowls and chimes, burning sage and incense, fountains or aromatherapy baths, aromatherapy spritzers if you aren’t allergic to them, and yoga and meditation. Even fifteen minutes a day of each can be incredibly helpful.

And we each are here to learn to Love ourselves unconditionally, and to extend that same Love towards all of creation.

A’Ho Mitakuye Oyasin. Rainbow Blessings. Love and Light. Deep peace of the shining stars to everyone.

Humanity’s Glass

Humanity’s Glass

Twisted shadow images
reflected through shattered glass.
Desperately struggling to
break this illusion, to
shatter this distorted reflection
where hate, war and suffering live.
Sinking to the bottom of the pit of despair
humanity moans – we’ve been living a lie.

Suddenly, the glass is shattered,
and billions of faces are now peeping
at each other, peeping out from
behind our masks,
all searching for the key
to sweet surrender.

How can peace be found through war?
How many lives must be sacrificed
before the answers will be found?

Take a deep breath, brothers and sisters,
and a good look around.
Flip the coin of Fate right over
and see what can be found.
Can we embrace the Lotus flower?
Can we reclaim our Divine power?

All the scattered shards
are quaking, trembling in pain,
hearts are breaking –
until finally we see
that forgiveness is the key.
It’s not our differences that matter –
it was that darkened reflection
which caused the glass to shatter.

We find that the freedom from war is peace
and the scattered shards begin to reunite
as people’s hearts commune in love and light,
and we realize there is never a reason to fight,
for whenever we hurt another,
we have hurt our very own brother.
And when we live in Love,
we walk in Grace –
perhaps catch a fleeting glimpse
of the Holy Face,
and we are one solid mirror image now –
look face to face
with who we really are –
One Brilliant Shining Star.

@ Kamea Moonmaiden 2004

I had the blessing of reading this at Groovefest the Spring of 2004 to at least a hundred people. It was scary, but so rewarding. This is one of my gifts to humanity. May we all love one another.



All my life I’ve given away
so much of my own energy, you see.
So now I’m calling that energy back to me.

Whole now, not broken,
Healer and healed I be.
So now I cherish my own energy
and Divine energy flows through me.

Om shanti. Om shanti. Om shanti.

@Kamea Moonmaiden 2012

If Only

If Only

If only I had been more careful
with this body
this temple
this place my soul dwells for now.

If only I hadn’t played the role
of martyr
with my life
my journey
my albatross.

But if’s a silly word.
How much good can if do
if it never comes true?

And here I am
alive and breathing
loving and joyous,
and finally okay
with being the perfectly
imperfect person I am.

@Kamea Moonmaiden 2013

Christmas in My Almost Empty Nest



January 24, 2015    Kami Velasquez

As the mother of six and grandmother of three, Christmas has been wonderful on so many levels throughout my life, but has also usually meant an immense amount of stress and extra work. When my youngest two, who are now nearly 18 and 20, were still nursing, my Santa work tired me out so utterly that Christmas mornings I felt like I needed toothpicks to hold my eyelids up. I couldn’t tolerate caffeine back in those days, not to mention the fact that it can pass through the milk and affect the milk supply.

One of the reasons I would end up so exhausted on these special mornings was that my biggest character defects is my perfectionism. I also had troubles delegating household chores. And when my kids did their chores, I frequently did quite a bit of touch up work afterwards, not realizing how self-defeating that is. It also makes the kids figure it’s pointless to even bother, if their mom is just going to do it over anyway.I excused my behavior by thinking I was giving my kids the gift of growing up with the time and freedom to be kids, participate in extracurricular activities, and play. I see now that this was a control issue. It was also because I wanted my kids to have the opposite sort of childhood than me when it came to chores.

But we did have many great times, sleepovers were frequent and fun, with my two babies enchanting my then 9 year old daughter and her friends. The friends of my then teenage sons enjoyed seeing my little boys as well. Babies have a way of enchanting everyone they meet. I had trouble saying no to requests for sleepovers, and even though I worked myself to exhaustion, I have always loved being a mom. Except for a few moments here and there, on those days where nothing seems to go right. But then that always passes.

My now ex-husband and I practised attachment parenting with my youngesttwo babies and found that quite rewarding, albeit it tiring at times. This may have also contributed to my Christmas Eve dilemmas. And at the time, I had taken a break from medical transcription and was just being a stay at home mom. I literally attempted to do everything for everyone. My oldest was already 20 years old when my youngest was born, so she had already moved out, but she still lived nearby, so naturally spent Christmas with us. Back in those days, I never had enough energy to take any family pictures. After working so hard to help pull things all together, I myself was barely holding it together. So regardless of how awesome those times were for the kids and how adorable they were and how rewarding their excitement was, I am relieved to be in a new phase now.

My oldest daughter made me a grandma two years after my youngest was born and has been the only one to become a parent so far. Her youngest, Loralai, is know 5 years old, and is sitting on my lap in the above picture. My 29-year-old son is sitting next to me, my two grandsons, ages 15 and 12, are in the background. This was taken on Christmas Eve, and the happy and relaxed look on my face is a reflection of how much more peaceful the holidays have become for me now that nearly all my kids are grown. For the first time in my life, I actually am the only adult on my lease. None of my kids live with me, but most live nearby and I see one or more of them pretty much every day. My youngest is absolutely wonderful and happens to be a star on the high school varsity football team. I also have a boyfriend of nearly three years who visits many times a week. His family lives out of state, so he was with them for this holiday. He has four grown kids of his own, plus six grandkids, so together we have a huge tribe! And that’s not to mention the stepkids we have helped raise along the way. We both have a certain way with people and are blessed to have found each other. Love is grand! We both love and are loved by many people and both have full lives, which makes the time we spend together ever more wonderful, because we are both hole and therefore not broken when we have to spend a few days apart. A few weeks is hard, though.

This last year may be the last Christmas all of my kids and grandkids and I are able to gather together for many years to come, so I treasured every moment, even the time out one of the young adults had to take when communication between a few of them got tangled and some feelings were temporarily hurt, but they all sorted it out. I was gifted with the role of being detached yet loving peacemaker. Focusing on Loralai’s excitement pulled us all together. The young boys are now too cool for jumping with glee and oohing and ahhing over their gifts. They do smile and their eyes twinkle and they do express their gratitude. Loralai shrieks with her enthusiasm and begins playing with her treasures right away.

I did still spend a decent amount of time buying and wrapping presents, decorating, cooking part of Christmas dinner (which we ate at my oldest daughter’s house on Christmas Eve so that we can kick back on Christmas day, my grandkids wake up and open presents at her house and then come to my house where all the rest of my kids come to exchange gifts. But now the pressure has lessened by at least 75%. No wrapping all night long anymore. No spending all night assembling bicycles. Instead, there is more time for enjoying our rituals. We have a family tradition of opening one gift each on Christmas Eve. I also love to read the story of the birth of Jesus from The Book of Luke and sing a few a Christmas songs.

I think my mom came up with the early present opening to help calm my siblings and me down, or perhaps it was because she couldn’t contain her own excitement. At any rate, it stuck, and will most likely continue for generations to come. She loved Christmas and always went overboard whenever she had the means, and she would cook at least ten to twelve different side dishes for our feast. The first few Christmases after she passed away seventeen years ago were very hard, but my kids wouldn’t let me just hide in a cave. They needed me and I needed them, so I willingly allowed them to pull me back out of myself, even if I happened to have done myself in with working too hard at making things perfect while not making sure I got enough rest myself. I learned over the years that taking care of myself first is essential, for otherwise I can’t function properly. I have had a few injuries to my spine, one while sliding down a short concrete waterfall in the Pecos River (part of a fish hatchery, and I slipped over a protruding metal pipe which crushed my tailbone) and one while on the ride Magic Mountain at Disneyland, and another while being given an epidural during labor. These injuries ricocheted into chronic pain and other physical challenges not worth listing, other than the fact that by the age of 45, I had five ruptured disks in my neck. So they took out three and put in a metal plate. Last summer I finally had the CT scan which showed my surgery failed. Two of my vertebrae are not connected at all and my spinal cord is compressed. So I have to be very careful and be mindful always of my posture, the amount of weight I lift and how much I do. Certain heavy tasks are out of the question. I had to mostly stop doing massages. But luckily, I was able to make it all the way through college and got my degree in writing a little over a year ago. I think it took so long for this condition to be discovered because I was so caught up in being mom and was stuck in survival mode. It took all that until I realized that full healing of my body, mind and spirit is not only essential, it has to take priority in my life.

So for the past year I am taking a break from formal education and also a sabbatical from practicing massage, and while healing I have the blessing of helping look after my darling Loralai. She is the sunshine in my family’s life, she brought all the extra sparkle and excitement to our Christmas. And despite all the attention and the special position of being the youngest in our family, she is well behaved and gracious, not spoiled at all. So the months of helping look after her while her mom is at work have been delightful and healing. And this woman is finally learning to put some self care in the fore front and now that I finally have some alone time, I have started my blog, and I feel it’s a great step in the right direction towards putting my writing degree to use and move towards getting into a good Master’s program.

Another thing that made this last Christmas less stressful was being on a tight budget. When my kids were younger, this would have created more stress. But now that they each have their own incomes and are all wonderful and generous human beings, they all took care of each other. And of me. I am loving this position as matriarch right now, and as two of my sons moved away during this last month and others may be moving away later this year, I feel like it’s a Christmas definitely worth documenting. For time passes ever so quickly, and looking back on our memories is such a rewarding experience. It’s so much more enlightening than collecting mountains of things. It’s such a great gift for our stories to be passed on from generation to generation.

Right now the still full looking moon is shining through my window on me as my crystals charge on the windowsill. This is my first night alone in several nights, and it’s very peaceful. The train is chugging by, tooting its horn and is just far enough away to sound lovely rather than overwhelming. I’m preparing for a busy week, with one of my goals being to complete my physical therapy exercises every morning. Little by little, I get stronger and stronger, and notice all the things each day brings us to be thankful for. Our families are the greatest blessing in this life.












Love is Freedom

No shallow love for her,
this Tigress yearns to roar
and sink her claws in deep,
so deep to the very core
of his being.

She takes all her
layers off too,
revealing the diamond,
crazy diamond
shining through.

Naked they stand,
cheek to cheek
chakra to chakra
hand in hand
eternally bound.

Freedom is the song
they sing.
Love is the blossoming
flower they bring.
The mountains they move
are majestic peaks.
The oceans are not
deep enough
to contain this love.

Loving all,
without any exception,
breaking all the rules,
Love is Freedom.
We are Free.

@ Kamea Moonmaiden 2001